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Friday, January 15, 2010 | by nathan

What I’m Working On

Writing a novel is hard, but the beauty of it is that when you’re working on your rough draft, you don’t have to worry about whether or not it sucks. In fact, you can’t worry about that, or you’ll find yourself paralyzed by self-doubt and criticism. Editing as you write is a surefire way to get yourself shackled by the monster known as perfectionism, that oppressive force that will keep you forever wondering why you never lived up to your potential. You keep hearing the voice of your high school principal, or your meanest relative, or your worst friend, telling you this will never work out, that you’d better just go get a job at Aldi and forget about it. Well – probably your mind doesn’t sound like this. But mine does.

All that is to say, I’m editing a novel right now, and it’s really hard because I don’t get to be free anymore. I don’t get to plow blissfully forward, getting my work done each day and keeping the monster of perfectionism at bay. I have to critically evaluate my own stuff, patch plot holes and seek out my worst writerly and grammatical mistakes. It feels less like being an artist and more like being an engineer.

Also, I’m working on new stuff for this website, specifically an entry – or, more likely, a series of entries – about some of my religious and political beliefs. I’m certain these entries will in no way offend anyone at all and that my comments will be filled with glowing praise. I’m also sure the yet-to-be-announced Apple Tablet will be able to make me coffee and will wake me each morning by gently massaging my naughty bits.

FInally, I’m considering starting another blog, on OpenSalon. I have a bunch of pieces that are, frankly, too good to put on this website but have been more or less pocket vetoed by other places I write for on occasion. I don’t want to start another website with its own domain name, mostly because OpenSalon blogs seem to more or less promote themselves, or at least, to make themselves a little easier to promote. I haven’t forgotten you dozen or so awesome souls who read this site. But I did promise myself that 2010 was going to be the year I wrote more, and lo and behold if that resolution hasn’t come back to bite me in the ass a little bit.

Everyday, Meta, Writer Comments (2) |

Monday, January 11, 2010 | by nathan

Gay Unclehood

J&L

These are two of my dearest people, J&L. One week from tomorrow they’re finding out whether their child, who we’ve been calling Baby Flynn, but who I’ve now decided to call POTUS Donette (thanks to last week’s episode of This American Life and the small donuts that L gets to eat and I don’t, at least not if I want to keep buying my clothes at normal-sized-people stores and not from special catalogs*), is a boy or a girl. POTUS Donette is scheduled to grace us with his/her presence around June 13th. Also scheduled to enter the world that week are no fewer than FIVE OTHER BABIES of people I know, provided no one in my life is baking up a set of twins. Seriously, I know five women who are set to pop in the week between June 12 and June 19. That in addition to two in February, two in July and at least one in August, fercryinoutloud.

The fact is, I just can’t wait to play gay uncle to POTUS Donette and all these other chilrens. I imagine my gay uncling style to be somewhat of a blend of Chef from South Park and Dumbledore, or maybe Giles from Buffy. The two kids currently in the world to whom I’m unofficial gay uncle are pretty loved and doted on, if not a little too young to appreciate it yet. I can’t wait until they all get a little bit older and start coming to me for advice, especially when they’ve pulled some kind of stunt that’s eerily reminiscent of the stuff their parents were up to in high school. Then I can send them home with my copy of our high school yearbook and they can be all, "YOU WON’T LET ME GET MY EARS PIERCED BUT YOU USED TO WEAR YOUR HAIR LIKE THAT? GAWL!"**

* Seriously, we went over there the other night and there was a bag of chocolate Donettes sitting on their coffee table, CALLING MY NAME, and I managed to restrain myself for a full four hours. I deserve some kind of medal for that shit.

** If the price of this maneuver is having to pay for these kids’ college tuition, I consider that to be more than a bargain.

Fambly Comments (4) |

Wednesday, January 6, 2010 | by nathan

Midnight Train, Going Anywhere

Though generally I like him, I admit that sometimes Joe Biden is a dunderhead. But what he has to say on HuffPo this week about Amtrak is awesome:

…With delays at our airports and congestion on our roads becoming increasingly ubiquitous, volatile fuel prices, increased environmental awareness, and a need for transportation links between growing communities, rail travel is more important to America than ever before.

Support for Amtrak must be strong–not because it is a cherished American institution, which it is–but because it is a powerful and indispensable way to carry us all into a leaner, cleaner, greener 21st century.

Brian and I traveled high-speed Amtrak from D.C. to New York this past summer, and it was some of the most effortless, comfortable and enjoyable traveling we’ve ever done – far better qualitatively than anything we’ve ever had on an airline.

As part of the stimulus package, the President released a plan for high-speed rail in America, including a high-speed line that would link Oklahoma City and Tulsa, making a trip between the two cities possible in 45 minutes or so, as well as between Oklahoma City and Dallas. The map looked something like this:

Vision for High-Speed Rail in America

It’s still a little disconnected and spare, in my opinion. And it bugs me how it’s so concentrated on the coasts; I think westerners could get a lot out of rail travel. Building railroads put generations of Americans to work in the 19th century; I wonder if it might be able to do it again in the 21st. I’d love for that map, sometime in my lifetime, to look more like this:

Rail

You might notice I’ve got all those lines converging in Oklahoma City; a dude can dream, can’t he? Seriously, though, there’s something wonderfully communal and American about traveling by train. I know we all love our cars, but I think our country could gain a lot by instituting nationwide, accessible passenger rail. Whether this is a job for the government or for private enterprise (or some marriage of the two) is a debate for another time, but I can’t tell you how much I’d love to be able to travel by rail to every corner of this country. Even though it would take longer than air travel, I’d LOVE to be able to eschew the airline industry every chance I got and to watch America zooming past my windows in the process.

Living In America, On The Road Comments (0) |

Monday, January 4, 2010 | by nathan

A One-Inch Picture Frame

One-Inch Picture Frame

I keep a one-inch picture frame hanging in front of my face at my desk at home. I love that old advice of Anne Lamott’s, that you only have to write every day as much as you can see through a one-inch picture frame. In other words, start with a tiny detail. Start with one thing about a person, or a place, or a situation, and just let your imagination run from there. This picture frame is especially special to me, as it was a gift from a Venetian nun I met in the Fall of 2000 named Suora Luisa. Suora Luisa worked at a kids’ club where one of my roommates was volunteering, which was how I met her. She helped me perfect my Italian by talking to me about Galatians. Then, when it was time for me to leave Italy, she gave me this picture frame, which has a little one-inch photograph of the Ponte di Rialto.

Since I returned from Italy, nine years ago last month, this little frame has hung in front of my face in the place where I write. It hangs underneath a set of rosary beads and my small replica of St. Francis’ Cross, which I also picked up on my Italian travels, and on the edge of it dangles a small strand of red beads. I found these at a curio shop just after I moved home – originally there were seven or eight of them, and now there’s just the one. Don’t worry; I haven’t found Kaballah. I just like the way they look in the soft light of my office. Sometimes I just stare into this photo of the Rialto. The secret to writing is that you sit down and then spend a whole lot of time just sort of staring into the middle distance, asking yourself, "What happens now?" This looks a whole lot like slacking off, but to tell you the truth it’s the hardest thing about writing. This frame is my middle distance.

On The Road, Writer Comments (0) |

Saturday, January 2, 2010 | by nathan

Rolling Over

You may have noticed that things look a tiny bit different here at my little website. I moved the sofa, so to speak, and while I don’t believe in change for change’s own sake, I have been feeling an itch to shake things up blog-wise for some time. So, the Weekly Reader and Daily Photo features are disappearing, and in their place … well, nothing’s rising up to take their place, to be honest. I’m just going to write more.

I started this blog five years ago, just as I was getting ready to start a graduate program in professional writing. It’s expanded to cover more topics than I ever intended or expected, and while I’ve been happy with it on the whole, I’ve never felt wholly satisfied with what’s been going on here. Which is okay, too; the only mission statement I’ve ever had for this website was that it was sort of a living electronic piece of paper on which I was free to do what I wanted and to share with you.

As much as I don’t believe that having a blog automatically makes one a writer, any more than Guitar Hero makes one a musician, the fact is that I am a writer, and though I don’t expect Okay City to net me a book deal anytime soon, I want to get back to the reason I set up my own website in December of 2004 – to write. There will still be pictures, and tasteless jokes, and the occasional political aside sure to net me in lots of "trouble," but the simple fact is that though I never want this website to become my number one creative project, I could be giving it more than I am, and that’s what I intend to do. So, thank you all for reading this, the maybe nine or ten of you who do. You really have no idea how much I appreciate you. (HINT: It’s a lot).

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Thursday, December 31, 2009 | by nathan

Two Thousand Win!

Flaming Lips NYE 2009

The last day of this decade has been a banner one. I finished my novel this morning, about seven minutes before I was set to meet five and a half of my favorite people (my husband, the Flynns, including baby Flynn who is not with us yet, @drpants and @kcclifford), at Cafe Antigua for some Guatemalan lunch. We’ve just finished watching Oklahoma (barely) win the Sun Bowl and now Brian has gone to snag a bottle of champagne for tonight’s festivities.

Finishing this rough draft of a novel, being as proud of it as I am, and doing it on the eve of an entirely new decade, makes me think that amazing things are ahead in the coming year. I’ve had this feeling for awhile, that I’m on the cusp of something, despite the fact that I have no idea what that might be. I only know that at this time last year, I had no clue of any of the humongous, humbling blessings this year has brought. And I can’t wait to see what 2010 will bring. I can’t wait to challenge myself over the next year. I can’t wait to turn 30.

I hope you all are happy and safe as you ring in a new year and a new decade. See you in the ‘teens (¿Is that what we’re calling them now? The Teens? The Tens? The Twenty-Teens? SUPERMONDODECADEzOMG?!?! You all think about it and get back to me).

Everyday, This I Believe, Writer Comments (0) |

Tuesday, December 29, 2009 | by nathan

As Read By The Author

Sarah PalinI have had remarkably poor luck writing about politics on this website. I mean, like – wow. I write a post about how the internet seems to give people license to verbally abuse one another in ways they wouldn’t dream of doing in person, and about how I think it’s ruining America for us to attack one another with anonymous, abusive comments, and what do I get but anonymous, abusive comments.

So when I sit here with my "Add New Post" window open, telling you that I’ve just finished listening to Sarah Palin read her book Going Rogue on my iPod, well, I can’t help but feel some trepidation. Many of my sweet, well-meaning liberal friends make faces like I’d stepped in dog poo and ask, "Ugh, why?" Many of my sweet, well-meaning conservative friends narrow their eyes and brace themselves for a stream of invective I’m sure they’ve heard about the former Alaska governor more times than they’d like.

So it confuses people of all political stripes when I tell them that I am completely, utterly fascinated by Sarah Palin, and not in a mean way. Like in a "Gorillas in the Mist" kind of way. Oh, shit, now you’re going to think I’ve called her a gorilla. She’s not a gorilla. It’s just that my interest in her is almost anthropoligical; listening to this book I felt like Jane Goodall hiding out with a pad, scrawling down my observations.

Now that Gorillagate is behind us – just so we’re clear: I would never, ever vote for Sarah Palin. For anything. But I don’t hate her; I just happen to vehemently disagree with the political philosophy to which she ascribes herself.

So I’m not going to talk about any of that, except to say that if you take your assessment of liberal political philosophy from this book, you couldn’t be more off the mark. Sarah doesn’t describe it accurately at all.*

No, what fascinates me is her life. How she became the person she is. I get now, more than ever, why the people who like her, like her so much. Her story is like so many others’ – people laud her for being "one of us," and she really, really is. She’s just an ordinary lady, a mom who got involved in the political process. That she doesn’t see the irony of so many of her statements and positions is just a testament to the paradoxical and often self-contradictory nature of political life across the spectrum in America in the 21st century.

She’s on the defensive a lot in this book, and I have to say in a lot of ways I understand that. But I also think it’s odd that someone so supremely confident that they wouldn’t hestitate to accept the vice-presidntial slot also seems to be unable to mitigate the need to hit back at people who take cheap – real** or perceived*** – potshots at her.

Thing is, as fascinated as I am by that weird personality paradox, I get it. I get defensive when people take shots at me, even when it’s anonymous, like the comments I’m sure to get on this post, but also I believe I’m a good writer and, with enough hard work and dedication could be Among the Writers. I suppose that doesn’t make sense either.

I don’t think this book is anything revelatory. There’s not a lot of new political thinking in it, and what was there I would say I disagreed with a whole lot of the time – though not uniformly, surprisingly. Like 95% I disagreed with. I guess what I find most fascinating is that Sarah Palin is, to my mind, a perfect product of the times. She embodies so much of what the 21st century has been about so far, her life so archetypal of a lot of this time in America. She’s "one of us," all right. And if it makes me an elitist to say so, then fine, but I’m just not sure any old "one of us" should be the President. I think it requires someone excellent, intelligent, uniquely creative, highly thoughtful and supremely courageous. Whether or not you ascribe those qualities to the current President is for you to decide; as fascinating as I find Sarah Palin, after reading this book I’m just convinced she’s not up to the job. That’s nothing against you; I hope we can still be friends. Truth is, I’d love to have a cup of coffee with Sarah. I’d love to talk to her about our respective thinking about this country and what makes it so great and, occasionally, flawed. She says in the book that her conservative philosophy comes from seeing the world as Fallen; I’d love to share with her how my liberal thinking comes from the same belief. 

Maybe we’ll get to have that coffee. Maybe not. Maybe someday blog comments and political cable and radio broadcasts and letters to the editor and town halls will be a bit more like that. Maybe not. Either way, Sarah will go her way and I’ll go mine and you’ll go yours. I think when we reach whatever comes after this life we’ll realize that these differences we have don’t divide us as much as we think they do.

*Go read John Rawls’ A Theory of Justice for a better understanding of liberal thinking, and Robert Nozick’s Anarchy, State and Utopia for a good understanding of conservative philosophy.

**Levi Johnston

***Katie Couric, David Letterman, et al.

Living In America, This I Believe, library Comments (8) |

Monday, December 28, 2009 | by nathan

First Car

Brian's First Car

We’re testing out the new wireless printer/copier/scanner my brother got us for Christmas, and by way of testing the wireless scanning capabilities we scanned this photograph of Brian’s first car. It’s a beaut, huh? He sold it when he went to college because he was afraid he wouldn’t have the time to dedicate to its upkeep. That’s a shame. My first car, on the other hand, was a 1981 BMW 320i; it cost $2500 and puttered out on me after just over a year. It had a manual sunroof and would die if you weren’t gassing it; lots of fun when you go to a high school with 2,000 students, all of whom are trying to get home at 3 p.m. out of two exits. I did love that car, though; there’s something so magical and freeing about your first car. I remember I spent every day between my 15th and 16th birthdays thinking, "When I can drive I’m so outta here."

And you know what? When I finally got my license in October of 1996, I was so outta there. I didn’t take off on some grand road trip, but every trip to the store, every stop off at the library, every friend who needed a ride home was a little bit more freedom and control, another mile closer to finding out who I was, whatever that meant. God, I loved it. Now I just have road rage and self-righteousness, although I do have a car I love and have been driving for a decade. Still, nothing compares to your first car, does it? What was your first car?

I Have A Story, On The Road, Photos Comments (1) |

Thursday, December 24, 2009 | by nathan

Snowstorm on Cleveland Street

Okay, I don’t actually live on Cleveland Street. But:

1) the main character in my favorite Christmas movie did, and

2) my neighborhood is called Cleveland, so.

Anyway. A Christmas Carol from (a) Cleveland Street:

Silent Night:

Silent Night

Windswept night:

Windswept Night

We are trapped:

We Are Trapped

In the worst snowstorm anyone in Oklahoma has ever seen:

In the worst snowstorm anyone in Oklahoma has ever seen

And it took Brian five and a half hours to get home from work:

And it took Brian five and a half hours to get home from work

But he’s home safe now, and we have power and warmth, and we’re going to my mom’s house in the morning, instead of tonight. Praying for everyone stuck or broken down or car-wrecked out in the snow this evening. And the snow makes our house look pretty with all the lights on.

House, Christmas with all the lights on

Sleep in Heavenly Peace. Amen.

I hope your Christmas and New Year are happy, safe, and filled with delight and wonder.

Casablog, Fambly, Oklahoma, Photos, The Power Of Two, This I Believe Comments (1) |

Thursday, December 24, 2009 | by nathan

MY [pajama] PANTS!

It wouldn’t be Christmas without an adorable child in Christmas pajamas dancing to awesome music. Behold, the night Dr. Pants taught Cooper Marshall how to dance:

MY [pajama] PANTS! from Okay City Nate on Vimeo.

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