Internet, I’m not going to lie: the last three weeks have kicked my ass. But while there have been moments of such profound heartbreak that I felt like I was physically spinning, there also have been moments of such thankfulness, grace and light that I feel like I really, really understand what William Blake was talking about when he said we are "put on earth a little space, that we may learn to bear the beams of love." 

This Friday is mine and Brian’s five-year anniversary. A million years ago – at least, it feels like a million years ago – we planned a trip to Vegas to celebrate. It looks like we’re going to go; I’d say the chances are above 90% that this trip is happening, not least because we think two solid days by a pool with drinks-on-delivery will probably not hurt anything.

In the wake of all this shake-up, I find myself in a weird creative space. I got an offer to become a contributor for This Land Press, a collaboration of writings about Oklahoma and its people and culture. The list of contributors includes two of my favorite internet buddies, and so I was honored to have been asked to contribute. The editor, MIchael, said I should come up with an angle and he’d get me set up as a contributor.

Okay, easy. Only – not. I got a job offer about a year or so ago to do a blog about the Oklahoma City gay community/scene, and I turned it down; I mean, really? And though my undergraduate degree is in religion and philosophy, I can’t help but feel like I’d get either bored or WAY too worked up writing about religious issues in Oklahoma. Sally Kern is a comedy writer’s gold mine, don’t get me wrong, but life is just too damn short, you know? So then, this weekend I was hovering closely around ESPN, watching the Thunder take the Lakers to school (and how delicious was THAT? Insert Kobe rape joke here.) and Sooners Sam Bradford and Gerald McCoy go #1 and #3 in the NFL draft, respectively.

And it hit me: I should write a column about sports.

Why? Internet, I HAVE NO IDEA. Maybe it’s because I have gone out of my way all these years to avoid writing about sports. I spent eight years writing for school publications in my teens and early twenties, and I was the only man on those staffs who never wrote a sports article. My brother’s the jock, not me; he played in the Oil Bowl and went to the Division-III National Championships. I get my chunky butt up on a treadmill a few times a week, and I hate it the whole time.

But I love to watch sports. The thing I was most excited about when we decided to reinvest in cable was getting to watch Sportscenter. I’m arguably at my funniest when I’m snarking on Tim Tebow (oh, one of my very first posts is going to be something along the lines of "I Hate That Asshole Tim Tebow And Here’s Why"). But, also positive stuff – Oklahoma has such a rich sports tradition, and I have so many hilarious stories of playing Little League and sucking at it. The column will probably only be marginally about sports at times, but there you have it. MY ANGLE.

The main reason I want to do this, really, is that it’s a challenge. I honestly cannot think of any subject matter more daunting for me to write about than sports. I have NO CLUE how I’m going to produce quality, interesting, insightful and, I hope, funny writing about Oklahoma sports. I’m jumping in the deep end, here, and as I told Michael when I e-mailed him, it’s possible that in three weeks I’ll be writing him back, begging to change my angle to "Boy, Is That Sally Kern Just Awful Or What?" BECAUSE I’VE GOT LOADS TO SAY ABOUT HER. For now, though, I’ve decided to challenge myself and see what happens.

So, thank you, Internet. The e-mails, comments, and all forms of social media contact the last three weeks have meant the world to me and Brian. We’re moving forward, shaken up and hurting but still standing, and with some exciting new things happening as we start to move, slowly, forward.