Wednesday, January 16, 2008 | by nathan

Into Thin Air

I’m what you might call a novice techie. I feel that I’ve run every inch of the gamut from luddite to technophile, including the high point of the swing this past summer when I briefly considered marrying my iPhone and then just carrying on a summer affair with Brian.

The other night on the way to the gym I snapped at Brian, which I felt terrible about, and which was absolutely wrong, but hear me out:

One of my major goals for this year has been to increase the flow and organization of our house, to just generally make it a more livable, vital place where we actually do the things we tell ourselves we’re going to, and we clean up once we’re finished. We have a problem with these things. To that effect, I hung one of the 100,000 reporter’s notebooks I own from the kitchen wall, and anytime we come up with something we need at the store, we write it down. We look at it every day. We add to it, and when someone goes to the store, he rips the sheet off the notebook and takes it with him.

Brian mentioned that he could easily set up something like that for us online, so if we’re at work, say, and headed to Target over lunch break - a favorite activity of his - we wouldn’t have to think to grab the sheet THAT MORNING, or otherwise try to remember what’s on it.

And I lost it, a little. Maybe it was my recent interaction with my favorite old philosophy professor, but the idea of having something as simple an innocuous as a grocery list on the internet just seemed ridiculous to me.

"I don’t want to use technology for EVERYTHING!" I shouted in the car. I shouldn’t have done that; it was uncalled-for. Things immediately got awkward.

I apologized profusely, then tried to explain myself.

I like having a physical connection with things, especially with words and things I need to remember. Physically writing things down helps me to remember them so much more than typing them or entering them in an internet form. Sometimes I log on to this very website and go, "Wait, when the hell did I write that? Did someone hack my site?" Then I see my gratuitous overuse of the caps lock key and think, oh, yeah, right.

I could never go to a class and type my notes on a laptop; this likely disqualifies me from most major moneymaking grad schools, but oh the hell well. At work people are constantly asking me, "Should I send you an Outlook invitation? Why don’t you publish your Outlook calendar? Could you just let me know through Outlook, EVEN THOUGH I’M STANDING HERE TALKING TO YOU AND YOU JUST TOLD ME?"

People! It HELPS me to write stuff down! To physically get a pen, and physically get a piece of paper, and make words, with my penmanship (which is pretty great, by the way, because I’ve spent decades perfecting it). That puts the info into my brain. Some of the people at my job - I love them - but when I tell them it’s easier for me to write it down on a post-it, they look at me like I’ve said, "You know what will help me remember that meeting next week? If I go outside and slaughter a couple of squirrels; excuse me."

The point is, there’s absolutely no reason to try to use technology for every single thing we do, and it drives me crazy that people are constantly trying to do exactly that.

Today Brian asked me what we needed at Target, and I remembered our grocery list, and rattled it off to him via iChat; in a good marriage, one person is weak where the other is strong, and we complement one another quite well.

Some people are more apt to remember things by writing them down; some people like having it on the internet where they can refer back to it at a moment’s notice; I just hope the former isn’t completely ever replaced by the latter, or else you’ll find me walking in circles in some foreign city, wondering, "How did this happen?"

So then, also, yesterday, we were introduced to the MacBook Air, a really transformative little piece of technology. I’m not going to get one; my little MacBook is more than adequate for my needs, but I thought it was interesting, the sort of vision of the future of personal computing that the MacWorld keynote showed. We’ve all known for awhile that the optical drive is on its way out, as downloads become faster, and media files rise in quality. This will mean that personal computers will get smaller and smaller, which is nice, and that they’ll have more room for hard-drive and RAM. Also nice.

My guess is in the next decade we’ll see a near-complete unification of the personal home computer and entertainment hub. Content will come largely through computers to our televisions, and will be available to transfer to our portable devices - laptops as well as iPhones, iPods, etc.

There’s something in the air, for sure, and I think yesterday’s keynote painted a clearer picture of it. I thought it was especially interesting that the Time Capsule is one of the first consumer-oriented products featuring 1 TB of storage; they just keep getting bigger, and, paradoxically, smaller. I imagine that in a year of two iPods will sync wirelessly. The real money to be made going forward is software that keeps one’s home computer/entertainment hub, laptop and mobile devices synced automatically. If you invent that, you don’t have to give me credit, but would you mind terribly to pay off my mortgage?

At any rate, it’ll be interesting to see how certain things fare going forward. I know it’s not very eco-friendly to say, but a completely paperless society is my idea of pure hell.

Thursday, November 1, 2007 | by nathan

Aaaaaand we’re off!

Today is the start of National Novel Writing Month, or NaNoWriMo for the uninitiated. It’s possible that November will be a semi-sparse month blog-wise for me, so thanks in advance for not abandoning me altogether. If you’re doing NaNoWriMo, or if you’re wanting to just read some of my laughably terrible fiction, you may follow along with me at the WriMo website; my user name is okaycity.

Also, I got my new shoes in the mail yesterday, so as soon as I pick up a replacement Nike Sport Kit (grr bahh!) I’ll get back to posting my run times. My 5K is a week from this Saturday, and I’m recovering from a fairly nasty sinus infection, but I expect to be back to my regular 80% functionality by the time it comes around. After all people, I’m in it to win it.*

Also, for no other reason than nostalgia, and because I knew Brian would like something to tinker on, I bought this on eBay this week:

I’d like to point out here that I paid far more for the shipping on this dinosaur than I did for the computer itself, but hey. I’m actually considering installing the *ORIGINAL* MS Word on it (the one on which I wrote my first novel attempts and short stories at age 8 in my dad’s office), and making it an internet-free writing space. But who am I kidding? I’d have just as much a problem procrastinating with Hypercard and Kid Pix as I do with the internet. Does anyone know where I can download software for this thing? Is there a place on the web to do that? Come through for me here, internets.

* and by "win it," of course, as usual, I mean "finish at all, even if it kills me." 

Saturday, October 27, 2007 | by nathan

Nice Kitty!

Gotta say, other than a few minor things I’m having to get used to, I’m pretty much loving the crap out of Leopard right now. Thanks, iPhone rebate!

Monday, October 8, 2007 | by nathan

On the off chance that Steve Jobs is reading this…

…I would like to state for the record that I vastly prefer the generation 2 iPod Nano over the new video-enabled ones. The style was better, the colors much cooler (the new ones look like Easter eggs), and who needs video at the gym? Granted not everyone uses their Nano at the gym, but I do, and I’d much rather have my little(red)one than a wide, weird, bulky, pastel-y one.

Monday, October 1, 2007 | by nathan

And I Ran, I Ran So Far Away

As I mentioned last week, I’m training to run a 5K race with my friend Paul. Paul was very gracious when offering to run this race with me, to keep pace with me and make sure I get through it. My tendency toward laziness aside, I really do believe that one shouldn’t commit to doing something - especially when that something is for charity, for God’s sake - and half-ass it. So last week I changed up my gym routine. I’m now running a 5K on the treadmill 3 days a week.

It was immediately addicting. So I started going at it hard, and now I’ve decided I’d like to be into a 9-minute mile before this race. Then, last Wednesday, I got to the gym and realized I’d forgotten to throw a pair of socks into my bag. "No big deal," I thought, "I’ve run without socks loads of times."

Only, for whatever reason, this time my shoes weren’t having it, and I got about a mile into the run before I realized what a bad idea that had been. Except - and here’s the problem - I’m very, very stubborn sometimes, and I kept going. It felt like nails in my feet, and I got to 2.8 miles before I completely crapped out, and even then, limping slowly back to the locker room, I was berating myself for not finishing up. "Just a third of a mile left, loser," I kept saying.

So I spent all weekend with bandages and Neosporin on my feet, and they’re healing up nicely. I got back on the treadmill today, and while it wasn’t completely comfortable, I can’t tell that my blisters got appreciably worse; I wore two pairs of socks on my left foot over a bandaid. Tomorrow’s strength training day, so for cardio I’m going to swim, which I used to do in college and loved.

Anyway, as I was wondering what the hell had gone wrong with my shoes, which had once been so great without socks, I read several running forums and found out that you’re supposed to switch up running shoes after a year. I’d heard this before and called it bullshit; the pair of shoes I had before my current pair had lasted me for 5 years, but I’d run my feet raw in them more times than I could count. Still, since I started training I’ve been itching to try my hand a marathon or half-marathon (probably this one), and so I decided to suck it up and get some new shoes. See them up there? Ain’t they great? This experience aside, I really do highly recommend Nike’s Air Zoom Moire running shoe. The ones I have have done great for me the past year.

I’m also tracking my runs with my little iPod nano and the Nike Sport Kit, to which I treated myself when I paid off a huge student loan last year. I’m creating a new category and posting my results from every run, more for myself and purposes of keeping this info organized, but hey; feel free to encourage me. Or even better - join in!

Here’s today’s run. It was pretty good considering how much my left foot still hurt at times, and how slow and out of shape I still am:

Distance: 5.06 km

Time: 32:17

Pace: 6.22 min/km

Calories: 433

Friday, July 13, 2007 | by nathan

living in the future

My fingers were shaking slightly as they move tremulously over the keypad, the lightest touch sending a letter, a number, a semicolon onto the screen. I’d been dreaming of this moment since January, and finally - it was here.

Brian got me an iPhone for my birthday. 

I eagerly, yet gingerly, removed it from its packaging and began fiddling with the settings, controls, content, barely able to breathe for excitement. It came already charged! I plugged it in and it immediately began downloading my mail settings from the Mac, and with a kind of breathless excitement - the kind that comes when you’re at a long-awaited concert and the lights have just gone down but the band has yet to take the stage - I began flicking through my e-mails.

The second one was from a nice young man named Ken Quattara, from Cote D’ivoire, and began:

Good day ,

Permit me to inform you of my desire of going into business transaction with you.i got your name and contact from the ivories chamber of commerce and industry.I prayed over it and selected your name among other names due to its esteeming nature and there commendations given to me as a reputable and trustworthy person that i can do business with and by there commendation, i must not hesitate to confide in you for this simple and sincere business. I am ken Quattara the only son of late Mr. Koffi Quattara, my father was a very wealthy cocoa merchant in Abidjan, the economic capital of Ivory Coast.My father was poisoned to dearth by his business associates on one of their outings on a business trip,my mother died when i was a baby and since then my father took me so special.before the death of my father on march 2005 in a private hospital in Abidjan he secretly called me on his bedside and told me that he has the sum of Seven million,five hundred thousand united state dollars($7,500,000.00) left in fixed/suspense account in one of the prime bank in Ivory Coast West Africa, that he used my name as his only son for the next of kin in depositing of the fund, he also explained to me that it was because of this wealth that he was poisoned by his business associates, that I should seek for a foreign partner in a country of my choice where I will transfer this money and use it for investment purpose such as real estate management or hotel management.

Please, I am honorably seeking your assistance in the following ways

(1) to provide a bank account into which this money would be transferred to.

(2) to serve as a guardian of this fund since i am only 25years staying my pastor

(3) to make arrangement for me to come over to your country to further my education and to secure a resident permit in your country.

Moreover,please, I am willing to offer you 30% of the total sum as compensation for you effort, help and input after the successful transfer of this fund into your nominate account in country.

Furthermore, you indicate your opinions towards assisting me as I believe that this transaction would be concluded within short period of time,you signify interest to assist me.

Anticipating to hear from you soon.

Thanks and God bless.

Best regards,

Ken Quattara

(qkenuattara@yahoo.com)

Welcome to the future! 

Tuesday, April 3, 2007 | by nathan

It Keeps You Running…i hope…

Yesterday I mailed a cashier’s check to cover the very last bit of a debt I racked up several years ago. I was expecting it to hurt a lot more than it did, financially speaking, but when I balanced my checkbook afterward I found that - oh! - I have quite a bit more money left over than I thought I would.

So!

back in the fall I bought a wonderful new pair of running shoes from NikeID, which I had designed myself on their website. These shoes have the ability, along with some fancy pieces of computerage from Apple, to act as a kind of pedometer, tracking how far you run, how many calories you burn, etc. I never bought the extra computerage because, well, no magic money had deposited itself into my account.

But yesterday, it sorta did. So, I treated myself, fought AIDS (a little), and did a tiny little something for my health. I did 2.08 miles last night, though I won’t tell you what my mile-per-minute was, because it’s kinda sad. Let’s just say it’s a good thing a pack of hungry wolves wasn’t chasing me.

Thursday, March 15, 2007 | by nathan

Dear Apple Store,

Dear Apple Store,

I am writing to you as someone whom you have wooed, completely, since you opened here in the Heartland a year and a half ago. I want you to know that before I jump into the meat of this letter. I want you to know that I love you, but that after what happened today, I just need a little - I just need a little space, that’s all.

See, Apple Store, I have come to rely on you for certain needs that I have. Apple needs. While I do think it a bit grandiose of you to label your workers "geniuses" - I worked across from your current location, at American Eagle, for a summer and was more often addressed as "shetbag" - I do find myself inexorably drawn to you every time I enter the mall, and I find myself thinking of you when I need something Mac-related.

So. Today I was set to take over the lecture for the baby undergrads I babysit three times a week. I had a PowerPoint presentation ready to go, but I realized almost at the last minute that I had no idea where my mini-DVI to VGA connector was. No idea. And see, this is where you should love me, Apple Store - I’m the type of person who, given the choice between tearing his house apart looking for something he may never find and paying $20 to replace that thing, will always - ALWAYS - pay the $20. So, I decided to pay you a visit. I decided to take off work an hour early to pay you a visit, as a matter of fact.

First, however, I decided to call to make sure you had the mini-DVI to VGA connector I needed, because even with an extra hour suddenly in my day, I didn’t have time to hit two stores. I put all my eggs in your basket, so to speak, and I needed you to deliver. So I called.

"Hello, Apple Store, can you hold?"

Anything for you, Apple Store.

So I held. While holding I rinsed out the coffee pot in the office, packed my MacBook and pad and pens and sundry other work-related items into my bag, turned off the lights and left the office. I started the long march to my car, annoying indie-wannabe bands from your on-hold music loop playing in my ear. (Honestly, Apple Store, why do you have to try to act like a hipster? If people are buying your products solely because it makes them look cool, isn’t that kind of lame? Why try to assuage their deep sense of poserness by playing Fall Out Boy and letting them think they’re still one of about 5,000 people in all America who knows who that is?)

See, Apple Store, what you don’t know is that I refuse to pay $100 a semester to park at a university WHERE I WORK. In a lot with big signs telling me that, should my car be pelleted by baseballs from the adjacent baseball field, said university is not to blame. Some things I will pay for. Some things - I will not. Shit, I wouldn’t park there even if I did pay the $100. Which I refuse to do.

So. I have a significant walk to and from my car every day. Specifically, about five city blocks. Most days I just ride my bike, but not today; today I knew I’d need to get my swift on, so I drove, and found myself still on hold while walking - through a construction zone - to the corner where I usually park, in a so-so safe neighborhood. I made it to the car, thinking, "Gosh, I’ve been on hold awhile. I bet they’re really busy at the Apple Store." But it’s fine - honestly, if you’d have picked up while I was taking that walk, you’d have been drowned out by the sounds of the construction. No problem.

Here, however, I had a choice: hang up and just drive, or stay on hold. I needed to know if you did not have what I was looking for; still plenty of time to change the game plan. I stayed on hold, and started the car. I drove from my parking spot at 27th and Residential Street to the mall, at 50-something and Penn; about a mile, but a mile fraught with lunchtime traffic, nine stop lights, an interstate crossing and the busiest, most chaotic intersection in the entire city. So, it took me about ten minutes.

Still on hold. Jack Johnson was singing "Banana Pancakes" when I realized this was getting ridiculous, and also when I decided that I would stay on hold as long as it took for someone to answer the phone. Even if that meant that I would be on hold long after having walked into your store, found and paid for what I needed, walked back out and gone on my merry way, I would stay on hold. I had a bunch of rollover minutes to burn, after all, and at this point it was about principles.

Also, Apple Store, no matter what anybody tells you, AFI isn’t cool. I’m not sure what is cool, but I know they suck.

Finding a space at Penn Square Mall is a bit like finding a needle in a haystack, only the needle is something for which one must basically wage the D-Day invasion, and the haystack is not so much a haystack as it is all of Kansas. I drove up and down almost every row on your end of the mall, finally seeing a spot I wanted after about eight minutes. As I pulled up the row where said space awaited me, a Taco Bell employee crossed the street in front of me and began walking VERY SLOWLY up the MIDDLE of the row, making it absolutely impossible for me to whip into the space. At one point she turned around, looked me square in the eye, then started walking again, this time more slowly.

Apple Store, I’d have fingered you as an accomplice in her vehicular homicide. I swear to God I would’ve. I was still on hold, and what did I have to entertain me but some lame indie-sounding cover of "Wild World." You couldn’t even get some damn actual Cat Stevens? Come on, Apple Store. You’re better than that.

I got in the space after - not kidding - a full minute of waiting behind this ignorant bitch. I walk in the store, still on hold, and get in line at the counter near the back. I don’t want to talk to a genius. I want to see who’s standing next to the phone, baby. And there she was. I made a point not to get her name; I’m not trying to get anybody fired, after all. I got in line; second, in fact. She was ringing some guy up on a $3000 sale, and so I stood, for several minutes. At this point I was hearing music both through my phone and through the store speakers. Frightening.

As the guy in front of me swiped his card, she picked up the phone.

"Apple Store, who are you holding for?"

"Actually," I said, "I’m in line." I leaned over so she could see me around the guy in front of me, smiling sardonically, phone in my hand.

Apple Store, she never even apologized! She asked me what I needed, got it for me, rung me up. End of deal. Would an apology have been too much to ask? As far as I’m concerned, she’s very, very lucky that the person on hold was me, a lowly customer, and not her regional manager, or, say - say Steve Jobs.

You let me down a little, today, Apple Store, and I’m kinda sad about it. I’ll be thinking twice before I come to you to buy the Nike Sport Kit and stop-AIDS iPod nano to go with my new-ish running shoes. I might just go online.

Eventually I’ll come back; I always do. Come back, baby, straight to you. But for now, Apple Store, I just need some space.  

Tuesday, February 27, 2007 | by nathan

following the Spirit’s lead

I have made a command decision:

When it comes out, I’m getting the iPhone. Maybe not immediately - I’d like to read a couple reviews first - but at some point by summer’s end, unless the thing comes off like the Zune or the U-Force, I’m getting one.

I just got the Nokia E62 Smartphone when I signed my very own, just-me-and-no-one-else contract with Cingular, and so far I’m underwhelmed. It’s not that it doesn’t work - there are several features I have yet to figure out - but it’s just kinda…wonky. Sometimes, when someone calls, it will ring with a totally random ringtone. I can’t figure out how the hell to link it to my e-mail client. I still can’t figure out how to hold it to my ear to get the best sound quality. I can’t figure out how to load music on it. Many phones I have had, these features are more or less self-explanatory.

Also, I look at the iPhone online every day. Every. Day. I think Jesus is calling me to get one, and you don’t want to argue with Jesus, now, do you?*

*okay, so, not Jesus so much as my insatiable consumer appetite and my honest-to-God need for a good all-in-one PDA/Phone device.  

Thursday, December 14, 2006 | by nathan

I Just Washed My Car, Which Means It’s Going To Rain Tomorrow

God dammit. This shit better not be true. Because I sure did just drop some dollas to get this - LAST WEEK. Mac always does this to me - as soon as I drop some major money for something, they turn right back around and come out with something better. Let a bitch enjoy his shit for a week, at least! GAW.