If this doesn’t make you laugh, and maybe pee a little, then I have to seriously wonder what you could possibly be enjoying about any of the rest of this website:
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There are at least 3 cartoons missing from the following collection of 80’s cartoon introductions. If you can name the specific three that Brian and I found, I may just have to send you some kind of prize. And no, neither Pee-Wee’s Playhouse nor anything from Nickelodeon counts; we’re talking network Saturday morning here, people. Still, it lifted my spirits when they needed some serious lift. Enjoy!
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I like television. I like The Simpsons, still, after all these years, and Saturday Night Live is always more stimulating to me than actually going out on a Saturday night. You won’t ever catch me in the hipster coffee shop talking to all the other hipsters about how television is evil and no one should own one (and not just because I find hipsters to be interminably boring; being not cool is so much more fun). As a philosophy minor I do occasionally worry that television is the embodiment of the shadows on the wall in Plato’s cave, sure, but oh my God, did you see Whitney Houston’s "Kiss My Ass" moment on Being Bobby Brown? You didn’t? Here!
Thing is, despite what I just showed you, I think television is important and sometimes even useful in our culture. I’m especially sensitive to this now that it’s an election year. Beyond that, however, I really believe that television shows, when well-written and thoughtful, contribute something to our culture; they’re a kind of shared storytelling, something we can all take part in and by which we can all be moved.
That said.
Brian and I don’t have cable anymore. It’s a long story, but I’ll just say that we hadn’t planned on not having cable, it just sorta happened one day. We still have our giant television, and can get the basic channels, which we watch in high-definition, and that’s fine. We still have TiVo, which is nice as it gives us the freedom to watch television shows when we want, on our own time, and the ability to skip the mindless commercials which are broadcast at 300 more decibels than the show itself.
When the cable went out unexpectedly, we took stock. We don’t watch very much television - usually the nightly reruns of The Simpsons while we make and eat dinner. I make it a point to catch Lost and Jericho, and am very much looking forward to a new installment of Saturday Night Live this weekend, even if Mike Huckabee is making an appearance.
We talked about it; cable’s nice an all - HGTV and the Food Network and Mythbusters are all great - but is it worth the extra cost? Not really. Not when we’ve got an Apple laptop connected to the television and could theoretically download anything we’re missing from iTunes, which still would be a cost savings over actually paying for cable. Also, with fewer channels through which to mindlessly flip, we find ourselves tuning out more often in order to find better things to do. Remember how I’m writing a novel? Yeah, me too! Oh, and look! The dog wants to be petted! And the kitchen? My god, it’s filthy! The things we’ve been missing!
It’s not a major loss. Though I have to say, I’m completely stoked that the writer’s strike is over and that they got most of what they wanted. Go, writers!
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So I caught the premiere of "Pushing Daisies" the other night on ABC. It was created by Bryan Fuller, the genius behind "Wonderfalls," "Dead Like Me" and "Heroes," which are three of the best hours of television that have ever existed.
Okay, first, let’s talk cinematic beauty: it’s probably the most visually appealing show I’ve ever seen. This might have something to do with the fact that I watched in HD, but setting that aside for a moment, the cinematography and the look of the show is really stunning. The pilot episode opens with a helicopter shot of a vast field covered in yellow flowers, through which a young boy runs with his dog. It was gorgeous.
The cast is amazing. Lee Pace - who also was in "Wonderfalls" - plays the "Pie Maker," a man named Ned who can bring the dead back to life with a single touch, though after one minute he must either touch them so they return to death, or someone else near him will die. Chi McBride is a private investigator who finds out about what Ned can do and together they solve crimes by touching murder victims to ask them who killed them. Anna Friel - who looks exactly like a young Faye Dunaway - is Ned’s childhood sweetheart, Chuck, who is murdered. When Ned revives her to ask her who killed her, he can’t bring himself to touch her again; thus, she lives, but they can never touch.
The supporting cast is excellent. Kristen Chenoweth is charming as Ned’s assistant at his restaurant, brilliantly called "The Pie Hole." Ellen Greene and Swoozie Kurtz are at their daffy best as Chuck’s shut-in aunts; Kurtz even sports an eye patch and gets off a brilliant round with a shotgun in the first episode. Oh, and narrating it all? Jim Dale, who is the voice on the American editions of the Harry Potter audiobooks.
The show was #1 in its time slot this week, but I’m really begging you guys - fans of good storytelling, charming yet deeply flawed characters, and stunning visuals, catch this show. I was in love after five minutes, which usually means a show is going to get canceled after four weeks. It happened to "Wonderfalls," to "Veronica Mars," "Dead Like Me," "Firefly," "Greg the Bunny" (oh sure, you all LOOOOVE Sarah Silverman NOW), "Commander in Chief" and "Carnivale." All were canceled far, far before they’d had a chance to really shine. But the thing is? I like this show more than I did any of those on first viewing. You won’t be disappointed.
You may ask, if I’ve let myself get so invested in so many stories that were cut short, why am I willing to get my hopes up about "Pushing Daisies?" Fact is, when a story’s good, it’s good; I get sucked in. Same with books. Only thing is, with a book you don’t get halfway through - or worse, 13 pages through - only to have it taken away. So here’s hoping this one’s a success. The critics like it, but they liked a lot of things that got the bag.
Unfortunately the pilot’s not on iTunes, but hopefully that will change soon. Oh, and if even after all my harping you still haven’t seen "Wonderfalls," do yourself a favor and get the box set. For my money it’s the best 13 episodes of television you’ll ever watch. Especially if, like me and so many people I know, you were once (or still are) a disaffected 20-something who ended up "overeducated and unemployable."
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Went to see The Simpsons Movie last night at midnight. Now. I know that it’s fashionable to talk about how the Simpsons isn’t as good a show as it once was, and how Family Guy and South Park have edged it out as the envelope-pushing animated sitcoms, but dammit, give me Homer any day. The thing that is unspoken in all the talk about the Simpsons’ decline is that it’s no longer novelty. The show was controversial and below-the-belt once, but American culture isn’t known for staying with things all that long. Hell, even I’ll agree that after 18 seasons, the show sometimes feels like it’s stretching to find new territory (Grampa and Selma falling in love? What was that?)
Still. The thing about the Simpsons that I love is that when an episode, a quip, or a sight gag is funny, it’s always funny. I laugh just as hard today at "Lisa The Vegetarian" as I did the first time I saw it. I can’t say that for Family Guy, whose cut-away gags and throwaway lines, which, while funny, are meant to surprise, to come out of left field and smack you in the face, and once you see them coming they lose their zing. Let’s not talk about how some of them go on WAY too long (okay, we get it. Peter fights the chicken. Episode running short, guys? What is that?) I can’t usually watch an episode of Family Guy more than once.
South Park is brilliant, but it tends to lose itself in social commentary, some of which doesn’t make sense. (Al Gore as a lisping drama queen proclaiming, "Oh my God, you guys, I’m so cereal" ? What was that?)
I admit, I did worry, at first, about a Simpsons movie. I was worried they’d fall in to the South Park movie trap, to try to see how much "not-safe-for-TV" stuff they could cram into two hours. I do love the South Park movie, a lot, but the Simpsons is a different show, with a different humor, and it scared me to think they’d go for the cheap stuff.
Don’t get me wrong; there’s a fair bit of racy stuff here, but it’s not overdone, and it’s done well every time. I love that Marge gets the one serious curse word of the whole movie. I love the Austin-Powers-esque scene with naked Bart on the skateboard. Pretty much the whole first half hour is brilliant. Of course not all the peripheral characters get moments to themselves, because at this point there are hundreds of them. Most people get some good throwaway lines, but the family dynamic is center, and the humor is solid.
After 400 episodes and, now, a movie, I really do think this show is strong. Perhaps not as strong as it was, say, in the 1992-1998 era, but strong nonetheless. Despite the occasional controversy, The Simpsons has never been built on the idea that controversy equals humor; it’s just a patently funny show that isn’t novelty anymore. I’m looking forward to as many seasons as the producers are willing to create, and I couldn’t recommend the movie more highly. So, everyone, stop trying to sound cool by bashing the Simpsons and admit that you can do an "excellent" Mr. Burns and can quote Ralph Wiggum for hours. Go see it.
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I make absolutely no secret of my intense love for The Price is Right. When I was a young, young child - we’re talking pre-preschool, here - I would sit eagerly every morning and watch a then-brunette Bob Barker giving away fabulous showcases! every morning on that show.
When I went to college I plumbed new depths of the TPIR-love. Every morning before my 11 A.M. philosophy class in the spring of my sophomore year (God, I miss college), I would stop in Shorty’s to get a cup of coffee and to read over my notes or skim the reading once more before going face-to-face with Dr. Lewis. Every morning I did this with the utmost intentionality, but also, I’d watch TPIR on the bigscreen T.V. while sipping my coffee, reading Kant or Kierkegaard, and cheering people on when they played Plinko. I began to notice that it was the same people, over and over, all of us forming this odd little group of people who showed up in Shorty’s every morning to watch Price. I even wrote a column about it in the student newspaper.
Later in life, I was lucky to find a partner who grew up with an equal amount of Price-love, and we’ve happily taken every weekday morning we’ve had off together to watch it. We went to see the live show when we were in Las Vegas.
So, today, I read that Drew Carey is taking over the hosting duties on The Price is Right. To be honest, as much as I like Rosie O’Donnell, I’m glad the rumors about her getting the job ended up not being true, because I didn’t want my beloved show to suffer that much controversy. Drew’s fine. He’s not Bob, and he’ll suffer for that, but I enjoyed Whose Line? so I guess I’ll give him a chance.
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So I was clicking through Flickr today and came across a bunch of photos of people as Simpsons characters. Turns out the Simpsons Movie website has a fun little toy where you can make yourself into a character. And you know I can’t resist rendering myself in cartoonish glory. So, without further ado, Brian and me - and a bunch of other people! - Simpsified!
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Salon has an article this morning that says pretty much everything I was going to about the Veronica Mars finale, but I would like to drive home one point:
When Angel was canceled, the writers did everything they could to bring the loose ends and storylines to a close, and though the resolution was occasionally heart-wrenching, they did it. You kinda knew Wonderfalls was going to get it from the start, but when the DVDs came out at last and you got to see how the story played out, it was satisfying, if not short-lived. Same deal with Firefly, and hell - that even got a movie.
Clearly Rob Thomas, the creator of VM, went for the optimistic and wrote this last episode like he was going to get to have more, and so he left us hanging, and now I’m feeling a bit more bereft. This is all stupid, I know, because it’s a television show, but the fact is that when a story is well-told - no matter the medium - we should, as an audience, feel ourselves drawn into that story. It’s a sign of good storytelling.
Other shows will come along, they always do, and these other shows will probably also get canned so the network can show - I don’t know - all the complete and utter crap they keep trying to feed us over and over and over and over.
You’ll be missed, Veronica.
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So …
Veronica Mars got canceled. So, for the next two or three weeks, those of you who watched American Idol instead, try your best not to speak to me, at least, not about television, because you know why? Because you missed out on - and killed - what was probably the best show on television in the last five years. But oohhhhh no, if it doesn’t have shaky camera work, people handing out roses or half-talented nimwits singing shitty BeeGees songs, you sad sacks of shit aren’t interested.
Fine. But just for this, I’m boycotting the CW, which would rather us watch a bunch of whoring sea donkeys than a wonderful piece of teen mystery noir so well written that the likes of Kevin Smith and Joss Whedon were willing - hell, overjoyed - to come play piddling little walk-on parts on it.
Fine. Fine fine fine. America’s taste in television sucks, and the networks don’t know how to support shows just because they add to the cultural landscape. We knew this. After all, remember Wonderfalls? Angel? Carnivale? Dead Like Me? FIREFLY? All wonderful pieces of writing/directing/acting that were axed long before their time because they weren’t the next big breakout hit. I’m not surprised, necessarily, but it’s always so damn disappointing, especially considering that shite like According to Jim and all eight or nine Law & Orders get picked up year after year after year.
Also, I love good storytelling, and as a writer I’m familiar with this idea that you have to keep the drama building, keep the stakes high, and give people a reason to come back, but the Grey’s Anatomy finale could’ve resolved, like, at least one damn thing before sending us off for the summer to wonder: what will Callie say to Izzie? Will George be staying (T.R. Knight has said he’s coming back next season, but still). What about Derek and Meredith? Is Burke gone forever? Why didn’t Bailey get chief resident? COME ON!
Lost and Heroes finales are up next week, and along with Veronica and Grey’s they form the last of the four shows I watch weekly that aren’t animated. It better be good, because so far this has been a disappointing sweeps month.
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Brian had a surprise waiting for me in Vegas; or rather, he had some surprise news.
"We have a Wii."
Apparently our buddy Scott was at Wal-Mart last week while Brian was working in Vegas, and there were two Wiis. (Wiii?) He called Bri to ask if he should buy the other one, for which Brian would later reimburse him. Brian said yes. We have a Wii.
Just spent 3 hours playing it. Now - catching up on schoolwork. I have two months until I graduate, but I have a feeling I am just.so.fucked.
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