Monday, May 21, 2007 | by nathan

write it down, in different color felt-tip pens

I just finished making a sort of mini-Uberlist for this summer, a small wishlist of things I would like to happen before Sept. 22, the last day of seasonal summer. That gives me four months. These are things that, for the most part, are much more specific and doable than some of the things on my 2007 Uberlist. I’d like to get back into my 32-waist jeans, for example, and to get another tattoo, and try to get to St. Louis to see my friend Summer before she doesn’t live quite so close anymore.

I always feel hopeful at the beginning of summertime, and this year the feeling is amped up because I don’t have this brick wall staring me in the face where I have to go back to school in August. It’s a nice feeling.

That said, last weekend I mentioned to my mom and brother that I’m thinking of taking the LSAT, and my brother mentioned that he’d begun wondering how he’d do on it. So that very night I went to the bookstore and bought each of us an LSAT prep book. Really all it is right now is that I want to know how I’d do on the test. I just want to see. The idea of opening a law practice with my little brother does sound appealing, but four more years of school - we’d both have to do the part-time program at the law school where I currently work - does not appeal to me at all. 

So I figure what better way to find out if I have it in me than to study for the test? Taking the LSAT isn’t a commitment; it’s just a challenge. After all, with no more classes required of me, it’s fallen on my shoulders to keep my brain active and alive. I’ll do that - for now - by studying for the LSAT, editing this novel I just wrote and getting it ready to send out into the great big world, and readying myself to start writing the sequel.

I’m also getting back to the book project. I have fallen over 2 months behind, but I think I might still be able to catch up and have read 52 books by the end of the year. One thing I would like to do is to read all the Harry Potter novels once more in the weeks leading up to the release of the final book. Those of you who only read important fiction and like to sit around patting yourselves on the back can bite me, and in the interest of full disclosure I’ll go ahead and tell you that last week I read the new release from Michael Crichton, and it was fantastic. Anyhow, does anyone want to do sort of an online HP book club before Deathly Hallows comes out? I’d like to do all six novels in three or four weeks, because I want to have the wheels turning fast for the last one, but I’m not married to that idea.

I joined Brian’s gym two weeks ago, and we have been going together every night, working out together, keeping each other motivated. It’s nice, actually, because one of the things I always hated about going to the gym was that I always felt so out of place there. With Brian around, I know there’s someone on the next treadmill who loves me, and it has become this incredibly fun ritual. I’ve been riding my bike to work every day and eating well, and all of this has me feeling pretty good.

Now, it’s time to get on that bike and ride home, but my comments are open. What are you hoping that Summer 2007 holds for you? 

Friday, May 4, 2007 | by nathan

that tired old promise, that toxic old compulsion

I’ve been getting horrible headaches lately, and in general not feeling very well. I usually chock this up to allergies, as mine are terrible, and Oklahoma is one of the worst places in the world that allergy sufferers can call home, because of our strong, unobstructed winds, our zillions of species of grass, trees, mold, pollen, and, in my case, dust mites which are carried on said winds to every corner of the state. Looking back over my life I wish I’d have known sooner - like, from birth - how my allergies would affect me, because I would have taken steps much, much sooner to control their effects on me. I could never run as far or as fast as the other kids, and so I was never really into athletics, for example.

So when I feel less than stellar, my first thought is to kind of look up at the sky and see - oh, yep, there’s dust in the air today, the wind is strong, it just rained a lot and now the mold is high, or whatever. Last year I went to an allergist who made me cry - made.me.cry - by suggesting that nope, I’ll never really be able to have much of a normal life, and if I wanted to feel completely well I should probably just move into a bubble, a sexless, foodless, activity-free bubble. Fun.

Lately I haven’t been feeling great, physically or mentally. Some of this is due to allergies, because with the frequent rains Oklahoma has been experiencing - which, while removing pollen and dust from the air, fill it with mold spores and act like an aphrodisiac for dust mites - my allergies are off the charts. Some of it, however, is stress.

I’m finishing graduate school. I’m trying to score a full-time-with-benefits appointment at my job. I’m stressed.

But I think the big problem for me lately has been food. I’ve been eating shite for months. When I was working on my thesis I often found myself trapped in my office in Norman or running so thin on time that fast food was really the only option open to me, and if that fast food was brought to me with just the click of a mouse or the placing of one two-minute phone call, so much the better. So, there have been Papa John’s and Jimmy John’s delivery persons coming to me almost every day of the last month of my life.

And now, I’m finding myself addicted. It’s awful. This is what Hell must be like, only, you know - without the soul-rending flames, etc. etc.

You’d think after all this time, after all this shite, I’d be so wasted on fast food that I’d never want to see it again, but it keeps sounding so good! And yes, I’ve read the books, seen the films, browsed the articles - I know how fast food is prepared, I know what’s in it, and I can’t freaking stop eating it. 

Except I have to. I am currently in the worst physical shape of my entire life, and I keep getting these headaches, these terrible headaches, and my stomach hurts a lot, and I’m really tired. A part of this is allergies, a part is stress, and unfortunately, those are two factors I can only control to a certain degree. But my diet? The amount I exercise? Totally up to me.

I live less than a mile from the Asia District in Oklahoma City, an area where there are literally dozens of places to get healthy Asian food like Phở, which is always delicious and never gets old, and never leaves me feeling like I’ve just ingested a huge elephant turd.

I own a bike and live a quarter mile from my workplace. I HAVE A DOG WHO IS ALWAYS READY TO BE WALKED! The things I don’t have - but really need to get - are a gym membership and some willpower.

At any rate, I am breaking up with fast food. Sonic - your cheddar peppers are delicious, but I just can’t keep up with this commitment. I know you’ll find some willing fatty who will love you the way you deserve to be loved: needfully, compulsively. McDonald’s - I’m sorry I couldn’t stick around long enough for you to give me Mad Cow Disease, but I’ll always remember your lava-hot cherry pies and think fondly of your incompetent workers who, on more than one occasion, gave me free food because they couldn’t figure out how to work the debit-card machine.

And Taco Bueno. I think I’m going to miss you most of all. Despite your recent introduction of cheesecake chimichangas (they said that Satan would be attractive), I have to call it off. I knew this day was coming soon when I saw a grease truck the size of a large dinosaur parked behind you, but Mexi Dips and Chips will always be one of my favorite taste memories.

I have to say goodbye, for my health. Phở tastes better than all of you combined anyway, and it’s healthier, and cheaper, and I’m not going to shave ten years off my life by eating it.

Anyway, I love to cook, and I need help here. Anybody got any recipes for delicious, healthy things? Anybody got any recommendations for restaurants in the Oklahoma City area serving delicious, healthy food? ANYTHING AT ALL, PEOPLE. 

Tuesday, April 3, 2007 | by nathan

It Keeps You Running…i hope…

Yesterday I mailed a cashier’s check to cover the very last bit of a debt I racked up several years ago. I was expecting it to hurt a lot more than it did, financially speaking, but when I balanced my checkbook afterward I found that - oh! - I have quite a bit more money left over than I thought I would.

So!

back in the fall I bought a wonderful new pair of running shoes from NikeID, which I had designed myself on their website. These shoes have the ability, along with some fancy pieces of computerage from Apple, to act as a kind of pedometer, tracking how far you run, how many calories you burn, etc. I never bought the extra computerage because, well, no magic money had deposited itself into my account.

But yesterday, it sorta did. So, I treated myself, fought AIDS (a little), and did a tiny little something for my health. I did 2.08 miles last night, though I won’t tell you what my mile-per-minute was, because it’s kinda sad. Let’s just say it’s a good thing a pack of hungry wolves wasn’t chasing me.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007 | by nathan

37 hours

Tuesday:

6:45 A.M.: Stumble out of bed. Spend a bit of time on the internet, a bit playing with the dog, then go to work.

8:10 A.M.: Arrive at work. Shortly thereafter, receive an e-mail saying class is canceled.

11:47 A.M.: Get another e-mail wondering where the hell all the papers are I was supposed to have graded by today. Commence freaking out. 

1:53 P.M.: Leave work.

6:37 P.M.: Leave for Norman to pick up said papers and start grading them. Have dinner at Chili’s.

9:07 P.M.: Depart Norman.

10:09 P.M.: Begin grading papers. 

Wednesday:

5:13 A.M.: Fall asleep on the sofa, still grading horrible short stories.

6:04 A.M.: Wake up, continue grading.

8:05 A.M.: Call work, say, "I’m grading, and I’ve barely slept. I’m not coming in."

11:16 A.M.: Finish grading. Depart for Norman. Make a couple calls on the way to let everyone in North America know that I spent 13 hours grading. IN.A.ROW. Don’t mention the 45+ minutes of sleep, as I suspect it will erode pity.

12:03 P.M.: Arrive for G.A. meeting that never totally materializes.

12:07 P.M.: Return graded short stories. Think about committing suicide, decide I want to lose ten pounds first.

1:09 P.M.: Depart for interview for Oklahoma Gazette article, back in Oklahoma City.

2:00 P.M.: Begin interview.

2:27 P.M.: Stop by the house to let the dog go potty and retrieve MacBook power cord, left at home.

3:33 P.M.: Return to Norman in time for meeting with professor wherein she tells me my book is weak and getting weaker.

5:02 P.M.: Begin to get a splitting headache that renders it difficult to see. 

5:17 P.M.: Cancel evening classes, leaving a gaggle of slightly-annoyed-yet-relieved freshmen to walk back home.

5:46 P.M.: Lift head up from desk long enough to write irritated blog entry about how I used to be able to function just fine with a whole lot less sleep.

5:48 P.M.: Begin packing bags - the iPod will have to work on the charge it has - and depart for home.

6:30 P.M.: Totally bust Lent by watching The Simpsons. Write note to self, reminding me to lovingly invite blog readers to bite me, blow ‘I-told-you-so’s’ out their asses, etc. etc. etc.

7:15 P.M.: Terrified, realize I do not deserve my wonderful readers. Also begin to freak out about Gazette deadline and the sudden realization that I am absolutely riddled with cancer.

Monday, January 29, 2007 | by nathan

Endorphins

This morning: got up early, worked out, made a good breakfast. Egg white omelet, an orange, fat-free yogurt.

Rode my bike to work.

Now: endorphins firing. I feel great. It’s going to be a good day. 

Wednesday, January 3, 2007 | by nathan

wherein I did one damn thing I told myself I’d do

So.

2007’s off to a rolling start; today was my first day back at work. It was a pretty beautiful day weather-wise, so when I got to work Boss Lady and I walked over to Sonic so she could get some breakfast. I started thinking about how close to work I live, and so when I came home at lunch I left my car here and rode my bike back over to the law school. And you know what? It KICKED MY ASS.

Also, it felt wonderful; I made it over in just a few minutes more than it probably would’ve taken me to drive. After work I timed the ride; it came in right at fifteen minutes. Not too bad; the only scary part was crossing the heavy traffic on Pennsylvania Ave., but even that wasn’t too much of an ordeal. Let’s hear a round of applause for Oklahoma City - say what you will, but drivers here are pretty considerate and there’s never that much traffic.

I just finished a workout, and I’m sitting here sipping on water. I just made my third entry in my ten-year journal, which I am really enjoying so far. It’s kind of like the names project, only I get to take a tiny little snapshot of every day. There’s not much room to write a whole lot, which is really very nice. I particularly like the entry from yesterday:

Typical: I go to bed in the 4th quarter of the Fiesta Bowl, just when everything starts getting good. The Sooners lost and now I’m remembering that - oh yeah - school and work start back this week and I want to stay at home, safe with Brian and Sam.

I really like 2007 so far. I’m looking forward to seeing how much happens this year. 

Tuesday, October 31, 2006 | by nathan

Psychosomatic, Part 2

I have the stomach flu. I went to Goddard Health Center - you gotta love health insurance that makes you start your journey to wellness at STUDENT HEALTH - and a doctor who was MY AGE asked me a ton of questions, felt me up, and informed me that, yes, I have the stomach flu.

Brian is out of town all this week. He’s going to be in Maine, and then he’s flying to California. He will get back on Friday. So, you know - GREAT TIME TO GET SICK.

I’m going to try to feel better by tonight, because I’m really looking forward to handing out candy, and yet I don’t want to spread stomach flu to all the neighborhood kids. And I REALLY want to dress up as Jerri Blank. We’ll just see how I feel. 

Monday, October 30, 2006 | by nathan

Psychosomatic?

I got to my car today only to discover that all of my tax decals had been ripped off my license plate. For you non-Oklahoma residents - here in the Land of the Sweeping Wind we pay tax on our cars yearly, and they give us tiny little thumb-sized decals to put on our license plates. Without one you are subject to getting stopped by a police officer at any time and given a ticket. Today - or more likely, sometime either last night or last week - all of mine were torn from my car.

Shouldn’t be a problem - I can just go to the tag office and ask them for another one. But it’s irritating as hell.

Last night I was so dreading coming to OU today that I started to feel all weepy and sad. Today, I feel completely sick to my stomach, feverish, ready to hurl. I can’t help but think that it’s stress, but I am totally unsure as to what to do about it. 

Friday, October 27, 2006 | by nathan

I Must Remember…

My good friend Liz has been in town this week. I haven’t been able to see her, as she is the maid of honor in a wedding, and that is worse than having a full-time job and two highly colicky, crack addicted babies. Today, however, I managed to finagle a lunch party of sorts, with Liz, and our friends Adam, Todd, Laurie, and Jaye. We met at my favorite restaurant, and they are some of my favorite people, and the whole thing was so oddly perfect as to leave me grinning like an idiot for most of the meal.

Liz and I like to joke around with each other. She is highly animated and sometimes lacks an inside voice, and we often come to blows. Not actual blows meant to hurt, mind you - friendly, playful abuse. We came to that today in the restaurant, and I sure did sprain my thumb punching her too hard. I socked her in the side - gently - and heard and felt a pop, and a tear, and now my entire left hand is an a great deal of pain. I am fairly certain it’s not broken, as I have a range of motion that is inconsistent with a fracture, but GOD DAMMIT it hurts.

I really must remember to stop punching my friends. Even when they ask for it. Right, Julian? 

Wednesday, September 20, 2006 | by nathan

Many Colors. Mostly Brown and Green, Today.

Remember that time I bought new Nike shoes online that are currently being specially-built to my specifications? Those cool new shoes will sync up with an iPod nano to keep track of how far, how fast and how long I run. Personally, I’m a little miffed that they didn’t make it work with any old iPod, but have you seen the new Nano? HAVE YOU SEEN IT?

Granted, I’m sick today, but I’m feeling a bit better. And I’m thinking I might need one of these.

I’m thinking turquoise, though pink or green wouldn’t suck.

"But Nate, why all this new obsession with exercise, eating healthy, getting back into shape?"

Because my dad has Type II Diabetes, and he had a heart attack when I was three days old, and I inherited all of that.

Because I’m not a big fan of the way I look in clothes right now. And I’m REALLY not a big fan of the way I look out of them.

And because I have never been the athletic guy, or able to do much physically at all, and I want to see if I can. Just to see. Just because nobody expects me to, and to look at me on the street a random person wouldn’t think I could run a 5K, or that I would even be interested in doing so.

Don’t worry; as I write this I’m sitting here eating one of the cupcakes I baked yesterday. I was home sick, I was bored, and I was getting a sweet tooth, so I baked a batch of vanilla cupcakes with vanilla icing (which I dyed the same blue as that iPod over there).

I’m still not feeling well, so I didn’t go to school today; I was feeling a bit better last night, but this morning I woke up feeling like there was a heavy stone in my stomach. Also, I had some of the more disgusting symptoms of a cold/flu.

I was going to drive down to Norman, because my stupid insurance (which I am grateful to have) mandates that I go for a consultation at Goddard Health Center on campus before going anywhere else. Which is wonderful when you live 45 minutes away.

So I went to the allergy clinic to get a shot, because I haven’t had one in a week and a half, and I was asking them what could be making me feel so shitty. She said it was probably a combination of the weather change, and allergic factors like dust mites, and that I should start being a lot more responsible about getting my shots. I wanted to open fire on the whole clinic, or say something like, "Well, thank you very much. Isn’t that the most wonderful, sweet, helpful advice in the world, you cosmica-rama dingdong head?"

Instead I smiled sweetly and took my token for the parking lot. GOD, I hate not feeling well. I HATE IT.