Wednesday, August 27, 2008 | by nathan

Meta Meta Blah Blah Blah

Ugh. I hate meta-posts, and yet, unfortunately, there’s almost no way around them. They’re like announcements in church, and in that spirit, I’ll try to keep it short and to the point.

I’ve been reading a lot lately. Ever since the summer started I’ve been devouring books almost faster than is possible to track, and in the midst of that I’ve found myself completely bereft of any desire to write the long-ish posts about each individual book I read. Instead, I’ve taken to penning a quick paragraph on the 2008 Books page along with the links to each book’s page on Amazon. In addition I try to keep my eyes forward, so to speak, as to the next few books I’m planning to read, and so if you see anything there that you’d like to read along with me, just let me know. The list may vary a bit as we go forward, especially as I’ve been reading a lot of graphic novels lately, mostly from the Joss Whedon oeuvre, and so if you have any recommendations I’d love to hear them. I usually read them in about an hour or two, but they’ve all been wondrously compelling - if rather easily digestible - stories. My next entry, though it’s not on the list, will be Joss’ comic-book sequel to Serenity.

In other blog notes, I must apologize for having gone so many weeks without any news or photos of Sam. It’s not that I’ve had a lack of news - if anything, the opposite is true and the dog’s been so blog-worth lately I’ve had trouble choosing what to write about. Problem is that the last few Fridays have been so jam-packed with activity, what with the beginning of a new school year, my ten-year reunion, and trying to squeeze in a decent night’s sleep where I can. I promise Sam will be back in force this Friday and through the fall; like election coverage, you cannot escape.

That concludes this meta-announcement-blogging-about-blogging-entry; to reward you for indulging me like this, here’s a rendering of what my yearbook picture likely would’ve looked like if I’d graduated high school in 1978 instead of 1998:

Oh, and there’s plenty more where that came from.

Thursday, May 29, 2008 | by nathan

And The Summer Begins

Now that Memorial Day weekend is behind us, and the Great Oklahoma Road Trip has officially kicked off, summertime is here. I couldn’t be happier about this. The beginning of summer is always a time of hopeful excitement for me, even as I’ve lived enough summers now to know that their denouement is always a time of withered expectations, a feeling of possibilities wasted.

Still, this summer I’m hopeful that good things will happen. We’ve already started planning the next leg of the Road Trip, which will take us to Bartlesville for the annual Biplane Expo (more on this later). In addition there is a litany of wonderful happenings that are upcoming, all of which thrill me:

• As part of the Road Trip, we’re planning a trip to the only town in Oklahoma in the Mountain Time Zone, which also is home to an awesome set of fossilized dinosaur tracks and the highest point in the state. Other trip ideas will come, but that one’s a for sure; it’s just a matter of when.
• K.C. Clifford Live CD Release Party at the Blue Door.
• OKC Pride, stretched over 5 days.
• True Colors Tour at the Zoo Amphitheatre, featuring Cyndi Lauper, The B-52’s, Andy Bell of Erasure, Margaret Cho, and Joan Jett.
• Kevin Welch playing his 25th Show at the Blue Door.
• My 28th Birthday.
• A solid week hanging in Colorado with my family at our beautiful rented cabin. During this time I plan on doing a fair amount of fishing and a WHOLE LOT of hiking. At least once I will drive down to the Collegiate Peaks area and attempt to summit Mt. Yale again. Or maybe Mt. Princeton this time.
• My 10-year high school reunion.
• Harvesting my own vegetables. Last weekend we made mojitos from the mint I’ve been growing, and they were spectacular. Look forward to much more of that this summer.
• Enjoying lots of time on the newly-renovated back porch.
• The Democratic National Convention. I don’t get to go, obviously - unless Andrew Rice or Barack Obama want to offer me a job, which I would wholeheartedly accept HINT HINT HINT - but I’m looking forward to watching it. Especially now that the party seems to be coming back together, and things are looking up.
• For some reason this year I’m looking forward to the Olympics.

These thoughts are just the beginning, I’m sure. Other than our super-awesome trip to San Francisco, last summer was more or less a bust, as it rained almost every day in June and well into July, which put the kibosh on almost every plan we made. This summer, whether or not the weather cooperates, I’m fully expecting to have a blast. What are your summer plans?

Monday, May 19, 2008 | by nathan

Rumination

First off, let me apologize for the lack of Sam on Friday. I promise to rectify this omission soon; I could offer some half-hearted excuse as to why I didn’t get to putting up a Sam update, but the truth of the matter is I was swamped at work and just didn’t get around to it. It makes me a little sad to have left it undone, as I have some GREAT photos of The Dog to share. So we’ll get to that soon (like, maybe, after lunch).

The other strand of my thinking lately - something that has actually occupied a great deal of my thought life - has been the promise I made to myself when I finished my graduate degree (I FINALLY got my diploma last week. You know. After a year. Go Sooners!) that I would wait one year before I started thinking about whether or not I want to pursue my education further at this time.

There are so many options; the mind boggles. I have yet to decisively rule one of them out.

I work at a university, and when my employment situation becomes a bit more secure I’ll have the option of attending said university at 75% of the cost and to tailoring my work schedule around classes. This is great if I want to go to law school, but I’m just not sure I do. I think I’d relish the school part, the part where I’m challenged intellectually and get 3-4 years of fantastic instruction. I just have no desire whatsoever to practice law, or to take on any career that a law degree would open up.

I’ve sort of shaken the dust off my feet as far as journalism is concerned; I think the state of the media in this country is largely due to the state of journalism education, which I’ve decided more or less encourages every awful impulse our media has, especially the ones toward sensationalism and do-nothing, know-nothing reporting. I’m looking at you, here, broadcasting. I think that further academic study in the field of journalism would be fascinating, but it just seems like I’d be orienting myself toward a lifetime of frustration.

The most appealing option at this point is further study in my original area of academic interest, one in which I’ve excelled more than in any other: religion and philosophy. I did, after all, begin my graduate career in divinity school and despite the awfulness of that experience my passion for the field has never left me. Problem is, while the options I listed above would require very little of me in terms of geographic relocation - good law schools and journalism Ph.D. programs are available to me locally - for further religious study would require a major change of scene.

I have standing offers from former professors and mentors that would get my application serious play at some fantastic divinity schools. Problem is that none of them are here, and I’ve rather grown to like having my family and all my wonderful friends around. I’ve got a husband who loves his job and a house and a life I’m in no rush to give up. That said, I do know that the career I currently have, while good for me financially, is not something I hope to be doing 10 years from now. So I’m feeling a bit stuck and I’m beginning to chew over my options a bit. I’m trying not to feel a sense of panic or rushedness about this, but sometimes it’s hard, when contemplating the future, to not want the future to get here as fast as freaking possible. Even when the present is pretty dang fantastic, which it is.

Thursday, January 24, 2008 | by nathan

Dreaming of Warmer Times

What would you do if it was suddenly summer?

I’d order this Cuisinart ice cream maker from Amazon. I’d make a blackberry cobbler or a peach pie, and I’d throw some shish kebabs and steaks on the grill. I’d mix up a pitcher of gin fizz and invite you over. We could toast our brand-new tax rebate checks.

Instead, it’s so cold outside today that on the way in to work this morning I was in a whole lot of pain. I like winter, but once January comes in with its mean, brutal brand of cold, with no cheery holiday soundtrack to make it seem festive, I’m over it. All I can do to keep warm is take scalding hot baths, and even though they’re the only thing that make me feel warm, they leave my skin dry and itchy.

The good news about winter is that it’s a wonderful time to cocoon, to transform, to make plans. Even as the ground is freezing the roots are in there, teeming with life, waiting to burst out again. I think that this evening, if I get out of work in time, I’m going to hit the gym.

In the meantime, think about what flavor ice cream you want.

Thursday, January 10, 2008 | by nathan

Seasonally Affected

Last night I moved out of my office. I’ve come to a very Zen place about losing my workplace privacy, mostly because I think it will lead to an upshoot in productivity, and because I rather like my new boss. Still, as I was moving things last night, I was feeling a bit down, because my old office was really the first office I ever had that was all mine, and it was a little tiny bummer to give it up. So, after walking my last major load down to the new space, I sighed, and closed the door.

Then, I went out to my car, and it wouldn’t start. It was cold; I tried to call Brian but got no answer. I screamed and kicked Calvin’s driver’s side door, which has become a habit when he craps out on me. I popped the hood but in the relative darkness could see nothing.

Then, I got in the car and cried for five solid minutes.

I called Brian again; no answer. I left him a frantic message about how I was trapped at work and could he please see his way clear to come get me. Then, with a final, exhausted push of hope and nothing-left-to-lose desperation, I turned the key over.

It started.

I got home and threw a tiny tantrum, then went outside and repetitively petted the dog, who eventually grew tired of it and tried to walk away; I wouldn’t let him. Brian popped the hood on my car and tried everything; finally, he gave my battery a jump and Calvin roared to life; we drove it to AutoZone, where they got out their lovely testing cart and told me it was my alternator. Later, my mom called and said she got a bill for two parking tickets I racked up two years ago that I’m absolutely certain I paid. I felt defeated and worn out; I went to bed at 9:30. This morning I woke up with a sore throat and a congested chest; I think I’m getting the crap that’s been going around since the holidays.

But, Calvin wouldn’t start, and so I took a scalding-hot shower and walked to work. It was blustery and cold but the movement made me feel good. Just when you think things look their worst, you should always go outside and take a walk.

Sunday, January 6, 2008 | by nathan

Now With 16% More Blasphemy!

You may have noticed that we’ve decided to spread out here a little at Okay City. The reason is that I’m finding that as my interest and skill in photography increases, the teeny, tiny little center column of this website was too small for me to really display the photos of which I’m proudest. It also gives me a little more freedom and fun in designing the mastheads; I’m particularly proud of this one.

There are some other changes afoot, and then, I promise, the form of this site will stay static for quite some time to come. I’ll go ahead and apologize to those of you who’ve been *slightly* inconvenienced, particularly those of you using 1024×768 monitors. You’ll notice that there’s a small scroll bar at the bottom of your screen, but don’t worry; you’re really missing only like 4 pixels on either side of the screen. Though if you do use this as impetus to go get a new monitor, well - you take this site much more seriously than I do.

Anyway, I’m toying with introducing a "Daily Photo" post, as I am taking more than enough pictures to warrant such a thing, and if and when I do (it sorta requires I get my own SLR and stop ganking the one from work), it’ll show up in the menu bar.

Anyway, enough shop talk. Did you see that Barack’s ahead of Hillary by over 10 points in New Hampshire? Good news!

Thursday, January 3, 2008 | by nathan

2007 in Review, 2008 in Preview

Because I haven’t an original bone in my body today - and the ones that are there are sneezing (winds are high, allergies are off the charts) - I thought a quick review of 2007 would be in order, as well as a look forward to 2008.

So, as to the year we just put in the ground:

2007:

It was a pretty amazing year, and I’ve almost completed a review of this year’s Uberlist, of which I accomplished more than I really thought I would but less than I’d have liked.

Biggest Accomplishment: Finally earning a master’s degree, not least of which included writing a kickass novel, 14,000 words of which were written in one day.

Biggest Disappointment: Still not having a solid offer from my job, but being too chickenshit to quit and find something more permanent because really? It’s as good as I’m going to find. It’s like staying with the guy who keeps telling you he’ll marry you, but doesn’t.

Best Day: June 12, wherein Brian and I drove around Napa and Sonoma Counties in a yellow Mustang Convertible, tasted amazing wine and food, waved at the Indigo Girls’ bus, and saw the Various and Sundry tour in Petaluma.

Worst Day: Sunday over the weekend in October when I had to get up at 7 a.m. to get to the golf course after only a couple minutes’ sleep after the work event I’d attended the night before. Tied with the day I didn’t get the Tourism job and the day leading up to my Thesis Defense.

Best Meal: The Odisea Wine Dinner at Deep Fork Grill; Chow in San Francisco; Cook-Out in Winston-Salem.

Best New-To-Me Band: Ghostland Observatory and Black Kids.

Best Album I Bought This Year: delete.delete.i.eat.meat by Ghostland Observatory, Volta by Bjork, In Rainbows by Radiohead, Rissi Palmer by Rissi Palmer, and River - The Joni Letters by Herbie Hancock et al.

Best TV Show I Watched This Year: Veronica Mars, hands-down, but completely tied with Pushing Daisies.

Best Movies I Watched This Year: The Simpsons Movie, The Triplets of Belleville (which I’d never seen and which you should watch), Stranger Than Fiction, Children of Men.

Best Concert: The Various and Sundry Tour at the Mystic Theater in Petaluma, CA. or the Indigo Girls and Brandi Carlile at the Fillmore in San Francisco.

Best Post on this Website: This one, where I tell you all what to do if I should shuffle off this mortal coil.

Worst Post on this Website: This one, where for a really dark moment in my life I thought of becoming a lawyer. It still makes me cringe.

Best New-To-Me Blog: Confessions of a Pioneer Woman, followed closely by The Pioneer Woman Cooks! Both make me permanently want to eschew the urban jungle and go back to the land.

Best New Resident of the World: Cooper Marshall Hickman.

All in all, I’d have to say that 2007 was a pretty kickass year, though I’m feeling pretty sure that 2008 is going to beat its ass into the ground. That said, here’s my look forward at the year to come.

2008:

I’m not sure when I’ve been more excited about the beginning of a new year. I made a new Uberlist to celebrate the occasion! You can see it right here.

Anticipated Proudest Moment: Finishing a rewrite of this novel and selling it.

Anticipated Ashamedest Moment: At this point I can’t really see past the first three episodes of American Idol, which are always a very shameful time for me, by proxy, because they’re just a very shameful time for America.

Most Anticipated Movie: Cloverfield.

Most Anticipated TV Show: The return of Jericho.

Anticipated Date for the End of the Writers’ Strike: February 13.

Anticipated Candidates and Winner of the Presidential Election: Obama and Romney, with Obama the winner. (I have hope!)

Number of Male Country Stars I Plan To Slander on this Website in 2008: Fifteen.

Most Anticipated Week: July 26 - August 3, wherein I’ve rented this cabin in Dillon, Colorado and where my whole family will spend the week.

Things I’m Planning To Give Up: Grey’s Anatomy, Private Practice, Ugly Betty, and Lost if it sucks as much as it did this year. Also fast food, going to bed hours after Brian, driving to work more than 3 days a week, biting my nails, and spending more than $20 a month on iTunes.

New Habits I’m Taking Up: Organizing the laundry, writing 1,000 words of my novel every day, keeping a 10-year journal, eating better and less, and not dropping my iPod anymore.

Dog of the Year 2008: Sam.

How I’m Planning To Lavish Brian With Love in 2008: Much of that is private, but you can rest assured, whipped cream WILL BE INVOLVED.

Monday, December 10, 2007 | by nathan

Baby, It’s Cold Outside

Brian and I are both off work today because of the ice storm. Trying to even leave our house will probably be a lost cause, as there is an inch of ice on either of our cars and several huge tree branches down on our street.

I love being trapped in the house by cold weather. This past summer was brutal and too humid and too hot, the days went on too long and I begged God to hurry the beginning of autumn so it would be over. So there’s no way I’m complaining about the weather now.

Anyway, I have a lot of work to do today, as does Brian, but also I’m going to try to be productive, to make myself a few specific goals and meet them so that I won’t feel like I’ve wasted my day. Especially since I spent a good 3 hours yesterday playing The Adventure of Link on the Wii Virtual Console. The first step is probably to step away from the internet for awhile. To that end I’m going to go into the kitchen, turn on NPR, and do dishes while having a glass of hot tea.

Or possibly a hot buttered rum. Whatever tickles my fancy.

Thursday, October 18, 2007 | by nathan

The Internet Is Magic

The past two weeks I’ve been feeling very discouraged about my job. The fact is, I was pretty convinced I was going to get the Tourism job, and I had all but handed in my resignation at my current one. That kind of "see ya later" thinking came back to bite me in the ass these last two weeks, because when I realized I wouldn’t be leaving it made the tiny, little, day-to-day stresses of my work seem much bigger and more important than they actually were.

The only thing is that I’m incredibly grateful to have a job that pays as much as this one does, especially considering that I am in no way qualified to hold the position I currently do. Neither my education nor my work experience make me really the ideal candidate for my job; what makes me the ideal candidate is the fact that I was here, and then the person who hired me left, and they didn’t have anyone else to do it. So, I was hired by default, essentially. It’s fine because the people I work with are pretty nice, and I have a great boss and I spent YEARS working in retail, begging God for a job exactly like this, by which I mean, a job that wasn’t so soul-sucking that I had to get drunk every night just to keep myself from blowing my own brains out.

I know these things, and I don’t really feel bad about myself because of it; I recognize that this is an opportunity to make a nice sum of money and get some really valuable contacts and experience. So I stick with it, despite the fact that yesterday? WAS THE DAY FROM HELL.

I was feeling discouraged yesterday, and I posted a question to Twitter, asking: "is it possible to be incredibly sick of something for which you’re deeply grateful? Because that’s how I feel about my job."

No less than four people responded with really encouraging things to say, and out of those four people, I have only met one in person. Which is to say, Thank You, universe, and thank you, kind people who took time out of your day to encourage a stranger.  

Friday, October 12, 2007 | by nathan

No pity. Just send baked goods.

So I didn’t get the job. You know the one - the dream job I was crapping myself over? I didn’t get it.

But here’s the deal: I will personally hunt down any of you who leave pep talks in my comments, and I will do horrible things to you. Not because I don’t appreciate the sentiments, or the fact that I know you were all rooting for me: that, I very, very appreciate. It’s just that platitudes and pep talks make me want to feel sorry for myself. When someone says something to me along the lines of, "When God closes a door He opens a window," or "Their loss," or anything like that, I want to curl up into a ball and have myself a big ol’ pity party.

The fact is, it sucks. I’ve been in a horrible mood all week, and add to that the fact that I’m working 40 hours today, tomorrow and Sunday - for a total of over 70 this week - plus the fact that my work situation is not ideal at the moment anyway and the very, very nice digital SLR camera I was supposed to spend my weekend working with? It’s broken. ON THE DAY I NEED IT MOST OF ANY DAY I’VE EVER WORKED HERE.

So - I’m in a foul mood. But the wheels are turning; not getting this job is a setback, and a major one, but every time something like this happens we’re faced with a choice: dwell, or keep moving. I’m electing to keep moving, though at a slow pace for the moment.

I don’t have any time at all to really discuss it, but I will make this one point:

When the only thing you’ve ever wanted to do for your entire life is to be a writer, almost any other job you could ever have - even if it involves lots of writing, as my current P.R. gig does - is most likely going to fall short of expectations and be incredibly disappointing on a spiritual and creative level. The good thing about my job is that I only feel that way about half the time, which, to be honest, makes it probably the second-best job I’ve ever had. So until that book deal comes through or I find something that’s 60/40, I’m here to stay.

In related news, I’m officially signed on for NaNoWriMo, and in the wake of all this disappointment, the wheels are really, really turning.