Monday, April 14, 2008 | by nathan

Projects: A Garden Paradise

‘Amember this?

This photo embarasses me deeply, as it shows you my tendency toward messiness, packratting and sloth in general. Also, because the most beautiful room in my house became something akin to the tag hanging off Minnie Pearl’s hat: "LOOK AT ME, I’M WHITE TRASH!" I might as well have put that dishwasher on the front lawn.

Well, this weekend, I did: we had a garage sale. Twenty minutes into it, the neighbors were coming over saying, "You guys know that the neighborhood-wide garage sale is on May 3, right?" This transformed our stress - "What do we do with the stuff that doesn’t sell?" - into joy; we took everything that didn’t move and put it into the abandoned garage next door, to be pulled out again on May 3. Yay! Problem solved. We sold most of what we’d hoped to, making a fairly-nice chunk of change in the process.

We spent the rest of the day sweeping out the room, hosing it down, getting rid of the masses of bugs that had nested back there and cleaning the windows. It was ready; it was ripe; it was pregnant with possibility.

Sunday morning we got up early and went looking at patio furniture one last time. We’d made up our minds about a favorite set at Home Depot (available for perusal at the Thomasville website, if anyone wanted to donate us the matching bar set, say), but thought, "Mah, let’s look around some."

And here it’s time for a station break, to shout from the internet rooftops the wonderfulness of my marriage by sharing a story of something that happened during that furniture search.

We stopped at a store in Oklahoma City’s furniture district that was clearly so far out of our price range. I began to get discouraged - we knew what set we liked, and the idea of spending all day looking for a set we might like 10% better for a savings of maybe $100 was frightening to me, especially when I considered the possibility that we might become paralyzed by our options, and do nothing. The time was right.

When I expressed these frustrations to Brian he was so gracious and kind to me about it that I thought perhaps Jesus had tied him up and left him in the closet at home, taken his form and decided to come furniture shopping with me. Then I realized that, no, my guy really is just that awesome.

SO ANYWAY. We went to Home Depot, decided quickly on what we wanted. The set we liked matched a rug we LURVED. Threw it in the car - had to make 2 trips because the boxes were so huge - and came home to put it all together. We made one last trip to Target and hauled an old sofa out of the den, and viola! Check it out!

So, I think you get the idea. We were very tired at the end of this project - I also dug up the plot for my garden this weekend, adding to the exhaustion - but deeply, deeply happy. We lit up some sweet-smelling incense to give the room a nice Sam-hair-free fragrance. My mom came over, bringing along a bottle of wine, and the three of us sat on the back porch, drinking wine, and bashing George W. Bush well into the night. That’s exactly what this room is for, and I have a feeling it’s going to be worth every penny, every drop of sweat, and every sore muscle. So far it already has been, and more.

Tuesday, April 1, 2008 | by nathan

Projects: The Back Porch

When I sat down at the end of 2007 to think about what I would like 2008 to look like, I made a long list of projects that needed to be done around the house. I divided the house up room by room and tried to figure out what each one needed. The bedroom, for example, needed a solution the laundry problem, and a dresser, and a new bed, and while that was a bit expensive, so far it’s proven to be worth every penny.

See, the thing is that when we moved into this house we had *some* furniture. We opted not to borrow on top of the mortgage to finance new furniture, and I’m happy about this. Still, getting our house the way we imagined it when we moved in has taken some time. Two nights ago we hung framed prints of some of our favorite photos in our bedroom and somehow our marriage has survived BUT THOSE PHOTOS ARE NEVER COMING DOWN, NO NOT EVER EVER NEVER.

We’ve tackled our bedroom, as I said, and I painted the office, and now we only have one room to go: the back porch. Here are two photos of what it looked like under the house’s previous owner, who clearly had much stronger moral fiber than we did:

See what a great room that is? When we first walked into that room, the first time we looked at this house, we took deep, excited breaths and grinned widely, knowing all of a sudden that this house was, in fact, made for us, that we were meant to live here. It was if the house was saying, "Come on out in back! Look at the hydrangeas blooming! Have a gin fizz and relax." It was perfect, and we bought the house, just right then.

Today, the room looks, ah, a bit different than that. See, I’m reticent to post the picture I’m about to post, because it frightens and disappoints me so. But hey, I tell myself, you’ve already seen a photo of my bedroom with my underwear strewn about - how much worse could it be?

Deep breath.

Okay, here it is:

We junked it out. This is about as white trash as it gets, people: the old dishwasher is still sitting out here, as is our old dining room furniture, the huge table which held our television in our previous apartment, the awful recliner that Brian had to sleep in when he broke his wrist, that ridiculous papasan chair that Sam slept in all last summer, some gardening utensils and the Shop Vac. Also, Sam’s toys, potting soil and a whole lot of leaves and dead plants that have blown in over the course of a time. And some bugs. Lots of dust. It’s AWFUL.

See, our garage is very small and won’t hold most of this stuff, as it’s already full to the gills with other crap, like, say, our central heat and air unit and water heater and lawnmower. That’s pretty much all we can fit out there. So the rest of it has ended up in here. Also? When we first moved into this house we had these two awful dogs living next door that barked at us constantly, completely nixing the relaxation factor this room had held. So, we put a few things back there as storage - you know, "temporarily." Then we let Sam live out here last summer, a mistake we won’t be repeating. Then we had to replace our dishwasher and pull up the carpet in the den and do all this rotten stupid home repair and where did all that detritus end up? On the back porch.

BUT!

We have a solution at hand. We’re going to have a garage sale soon, which will help us get rid of most of that unwanted furniture. The rest we’re toting out to the curb on our next big trash day, April 16.

Also, we’ve picked out a patio furniture set we like and can afford. Check it out:

and

These are at Home Depot, and they’re a *bit* more than we’d like them to be, but what isn’t? Also, as the patio is covered we won’t be needing the umbrella over the bar. We sort of imagine the room as a place where people want to gather, where we can cook out with our friends and sit and talk and laugh and share a beer or seven. We could have coffee out here in the mornings and it would be a fabulous place to read or get some writing done.

So we’re thinking the process for whole thing is simple, right - get rid of all the crap that’s back there is step one. Brian cleaned out the garage the other night, pulling aside all the stuff that we’ll put out for the garage sale and making a whole bunch more room. What we don’t sell goes in big trash or gets donated. We sweep out all the leaves and dirt and such, hose and scrub the whole thing down. We lay down a rug, bring in the furniture and make sure that door stays good and closed.

I’ll be sure and post photos during the process and as we go along, but friends, we need some major mojo, because this is the last room we need to do much to in our house, and then, so help me God, sometime before the three-year anniversary of our moving-in, we may even have a housewarming party.

Monday, March 24, 2008 | by nathan

Projects: A Clean, Well-Lighted [Bed]Room

Once upon a time, mine & Brian’s bedroom looked like this. (Please, only look for just a second; the embarrassment is killing me.)

That was last year, when I had begun to feel sort of irritated about our house. My Uberlist this year is full of things, plans, specific things to do in our home to make it feel less like we’re just crashing there and more like a place we own, where we live, where we make a home. We’ve lived in this house for over 2 and a half years, after all. It’s time to stop treating it the way we treated our early-twenties apartments and dorm rooms, as basically just storage spaces waiting to be packed up again at the end of a year.

It’s worth noting here that this is the home of two guys - homosexuals, yes, but guys - and guys are messy.

From this photo you can clearly see that the biggest problem is laundry, followed closely by storage. Step One was for us to just make a concerted effort to actually do the laundry more often, which we did. But still, the stuff seemed to spread. When we got the new bedspread, things looked nicer:

But this didn’t entirely solve our problem. We had all this floor space, see, and from where this photo is taken you can’t see it, but the laundry is still out, still there, still lurking and overflowing its hampers. So last weekend we went and had ourselves a nice little IKEA orgy. And for one, we replaced that lumpy old bed and clapboard-looking bedside tables with this sexy beast:

Some of the good things about this bed? Even though it’s using our same old box spring and mattress, it’s about eighty gazillion times more comfortable than the old one. Also, the new lamps are wonderful because no matter how wildly I flail my arms at the sound of my morning alarm, I won’t knock them off and shatter them, which I’ve done to no fewer than three lamps since we’ve lived in this house. Also? Because it sits right on the ground we won’t ever find another horrifying dust bunny under the bed, never, ever again. I mean, hypothetically. You’ll notice the walls are bare; I plan on framing some of my better black and white prints to hang in here. Feel free to let me know if there are any you like.

We also got a new dresser; I didn’t get a photograph of it, but here it is:

It now sits where our laundry had once begun to pile up on our heads. We’ve moved that whole mess into the closet and organized the absolute shit out of it, which means that not only is it not physically able to overflow, but it’s easy to get done once it starts to. The final piece was our upstairs half-bath, which I’m a little ashamed to post photos of in the "before" stage; let’s just say that these West Elm shelves ($20!!) have done wonders in the 24 hours they’ve been up. They’ve redeemed our fragile psyches from the edge of the pit of despair:

Brian will tell you that getting these shelves up on that wall was a feat of engineering akin to building the pyramids at Giza. What he won’t tell you - and I will, because I’m all about keeping it real - is that behind all those toiletries are three centimeter-wide holes in the wall from the first attempt. But oh well; it’s all about presentation. And about not keeping the toothbrushes in a place where they occasionally get knocked into the toilet, only to have to be immediately replaced.

So except for getting some neat decoratey things - photo frames for some of our pictures, etc. - we finally feel like our bedroom is a place we want to spend time. It’s such a strange and welcome change that we’re sort of still figuring out what that means. Also, you’ll be happy to know that there’s a load of laundry running as I write this, and more to be done tonight. Folks, I think the Laundry Monster has been subdued.

Friday, March 21, 2008 | by nathan

Sunburst Wire Wall Art

I love West Elm, and as we’re trying to get our house, in which we’ve lived for almost 3 years, to look like a place people might actually live, I ordered this piece to hang above our fireplace. We hung it very off-center but are really, really pleased with how it looks. It’s available at the West Elm site.

Monday, February 25, 2008 | by nathan

Shitbox Update

I’d like you to meet The Garage. This is what looks out on my street from the house next door to mine; you know the one - The Shitbox? The day after I wrote that post about how much that house is driving me crazy, there were a whole bunch of contractors out replacing the windows, which have been one of the most consistently ugly parts of the whole structure. The best, most wonderful part was how they left their nails all over my yard and driveway, just like the roofers did.

Still, new windows are a step in the right direction. As I went to inspect them, however, I did notice that there also just happens to be a lawnmower in the breakfast nook. Here, check it out:

See that? What is that? That’s a really bad storage area.* The yard hasn’t actually been mowed, though I’m willing to let it go since it’s February and since there are probably nails all in the grass; there certainly are in mine. I’m going to have to rent a really powerful magnet before I do any mowing.

Today I got home and there was a tree crew cutting down fallen branches and stowing them IN MY FRONT YARD. I rectified the situation quickly in my broken Spanglish - I really do need to take a Spanish class - and then noticed after they’d gone that the branch that has fallen over the power line in back? Still there. Crack job you did, fellas.

Still, I’m not going to complain or call the owners, because work is getting done. I just sincerely hope that garage is high up on the list. It makes a good photo, but it’s not really doing anything to inflate the sagging housing market, now, is it?

*and no, I would never take photos through the windows of a house where someone actually lived, or, for that matter, that was capable of sustaining human life. This house fails on two counts and is therefore fair game.

Thursday, February 7, 2008 | by nathan

The Shitbox Next Door

Brian and I love our house. It’s probably one of our favorite things about our life. When you see someone interviewed on television after they’ve lost their house to, say, a major storm or earthquake, the thing they always say is that it’s not just a house. It’s a home. It’s the pulsing center of your whole life. That’s true for us.

We moved into this house at the end of September. 2005. We immediately fell in love with living where we live, because it’s urban and cool, it’s close to things like Oklahoma City’s Asian District and Paseo areas, and unlike a few of the nearby areas, people genuinely care about the upkeep and exterior appearance of their homes. This helps property values. It helps the overall mood of the neighborhood.

And then - there were the people next door.

First off, I have to say, they were incredibly nice. A friendly, middle-aged couple with two teenage daughters, they’d lived in the neighborhood for 15 years and knew everyone. I genuinely liked them, I liked their kids. I hated their dogs, but I eventually even grew to live with that. We all got along well enough despite the fact that they almost never mowed their grass, the paint was peeling on their house, the shutters were falling away from their grody windows. We knew that they spent a lot of money sending their girls to excellent private schools, and they worked a lot, so we didn’t bug them about it.

We did report them to the city when they left a car, tires flat, leaking oil, in their driveway for months. I felt awful, but it had to be done.

Then, last year, Brian and I went away to San Francisco for a week. When we returned, the neighbors seemed to have vanished. At first we figured it was an extended vacation, but after several weeks we still hadn’t seen them. Neighbors reported that they’d show up, occasionally, and fill the back of their car with belongings, then leave again for days at a time. Once, Brian saw them pull up, go inside, get a LIVE CAT, and then leave once more.

Finally the rumblings turned to murmurs; some of the neighbors had spoken to them, and found out they were having some money problems and were looking to get out from under their mortgage.

I called my friends Jaye and Laurie, who had long wanted to move into our neighborhood. They came over and we stood, staring at the seemingly abandoned house, for several hours in the July heat, thinking. How great would it be if they could move in next door to us? The house was in a great neighborhood, and big enough for them to start planning a family. It’d need some work, sure, but we’d all pitch in like some crazy hippie commune meets Trading Spaces. All would be right with the world. We just needed to see the inside.

Finally, we did see the inside. Late, late one night, we went in through an unlocked door. I’m not proud of it, but after weeks of absenteeism, the neighbors seemed to have vanished for good.

The first thing that hit us was the smell: mold, dust, and cat pee. There were holes in the floor. A pipe had burst in the upstairs bathroom and soaked through the kitchen ceiling. There were maggots in the refrigerator. Who lives like this? Who lives like this with their kids?

We poked around for quite some time, and for the next two days I was out sick, the mold was so bad inside. Our hopes dashed, everyone decided that having the places inspected was the next logical step. We got in touch with the neighbors, who were excited at the prospect, and Jaye & Laurie shelled out $150 for an inspector to come out. He told them the place was actually in good shape, just uncared-for. Talks of offers began drifting through the late-summer air. We thought it might happen, and it was time for my dear friends to start thinking seriously. They researched loans that would let them borrow capital to fix up the house; it was absolutely, completely possible.

Then - wham. The house went on foreclosure. Turned out my neighbors hadn’t paid their mortgage for some time. Within a month the house was set to go on sheriff’s auction. So much for that. Another sad story of today’s awful housing market, another foreclosure. The stuff in the news hits home.

Jaye went to the auction and reported that the house was bought, sight unseen, for 1.5 times what he had planned to offer, and at least that much more than what it was worth, in its current condition.

I met the buyers; they were nice, and seemed to have a real plan for how they were going to fix up the house. Also, the wife had breast cancer.

At first they were there a lot, fixing things up, trying to get projects done. As it got colder we saw less of them. Some contractors came to fix the roof; I stepped on one of the nails they’d left in the driveway. A few guys were there last week but from what we can tell they did nothing. We haven’t seen the actual owners in probably five months.

Though we won’t know until the end of March, we expect that the foreclosure on the property will hit our property values. The fact that the place is an unmitigated, rotting shitbox probably isn’t helping either. I’ve been reluctant to report some of the flagrant disregard of city ordinances because - how do you report someone with BREAST CANCER for not mowing their grass? It just seems so wrong and soulless somehow, but also, I’m really super sick and tired of having this horribly ugly house next to me, especially when it could be something nice. It could be a great property. There’s nothing structurally wrong with the place, and the floor plan is excellent. The yard, with love, could be wonderful.

It goes back to a struggle I always have - patience and kindness versus boundaries. I want to be kind and patient, but I’ve also learned - the hard way - that it’s important to set boundaries, to not let people walk on you. So I’m left to ponder what the hell - if anything - to do about the shitbox next door.

Monday, January 21, 2008 | by nathan

Projects: Writing Space

Dude, I’m on FIRE with the house projects lately. There was the organizing of the bedroom, then the new dishwasher, and now, I’ve finally, after two and a half years of living in this house, finally transformed my office into a real space for writing AND a place for Sam to live.

Here’s what the office looked like when we moved in, circa October 2005:

Bad, right? At any rate, not good. That yellow color bothered me from the moment we first saw the house, but I never could decide on a color with which to replace it. Finally, I realized that - oh my GOD - if I painted it, and hated it, I COULD CHANGE IT. I know - this is a revolutionary concept, and I’ll give your mind a moment to catch up.

So, since I had 3 days off this weekend and the dishwasher situation resolved itself by Saturday night, I decided to get started:

I picked out a color called Iris Moon, which is a pale lavender shade. It’ll go perfectly with the dark brown and black furniture I have in here and the black gallery frames I plan on using to hang photographs. I did the lion’s share of the work alone, though I had to have a lot of help from Brian with things near the ceiling, because I’m freaking short and can’t reach the ceiling, even when I stand on a chair. The fact is, I really enjoyed most of this work; I put on a playlist I created titled "Occasionally Terrible Music To Sing Along To" - which is exactly what it sounds like - and went to town, singing at the top of my lungs.

Though I have to say, today was much harder than yesterday, even though there was less painting involved. Today was the day I took down all the books from my shelves, moved them away from the wall, and painted behind where they’d been. Then, I rearranged all the furniture, eliminating some of it, as the room had become ridiculously crowded, and put the books back up and everything back in its place.

It was fun, but I’m okay if I NEVER HAVE TO DO IT AGAIN. Anyway, now if you come visit me there’s room to fold out the couch, and Sam has a little more space to kick around in while I’m gone all day. I’m going to take down the ceiling fan and replace it with this light fixture I ordered from Ikea, chosen in part because it was the only one I could find that they’d ship to me, and I knew if I waited until my next trip to Dallas, the light may never get replaced.

Anyway, enough talk. What do you think of my new office/writing space/library/dog’s room?

Monday, January 21, 2008 | by nathan

Projects: New Dishwasher

Last week my friend Brittany came over for dinner. I tried - and failed - to make Irish potato pancakes, also known as Boxty. Still, we had a nice meal and a nice conversation, and the next day Brian and I went to load the dishwasher, and it made a sound like it had prolapse, like all its internal organs were trying to fall out of its vagina.

But - crap! We had an entire kitchen full of very, very dirty dishes! It looked like this:

We’d been wanting to get a new dishwasher since we moved in, and it was on my list of things to do around the house in 2008. See how it’s all off-white and ugly, and how it doesn’t match our awesome fridge? We figured we could pay to fix the old one, or we could just pull the trigger and get a new one. So my wonderful other half shopped around at almost every dishwasher store in Oklahoma City and finally found a great deal on a new dishwasher. We were ready to pull the trigger; we were moving on up.

Then, Brian had a brilliant idea: "Let’s take pictures of each step in the process and do a blog post about how to install a dishwasher!"

"YES!" I exclaimed. "That’s wonderful! This is knowledge that could help people!"

So we moved the new dishwasher into the house, I got out the camera, and we got started. All went as planned. We got some wonderful photos to show you what we were doing. Photos that looked like this:

Which would’ve showed you where your disposal and dishwasher become good buddies. We hit a snag, however, when we pulled out the old unit to discover it had leaked and warped the floor underneath, and that we were going to have to CUT A MASSIVE HOLE IN OUR KITCHEN FLOOR in order to put in the new dishwasher:

So we did that. Turns out that the water line had leaked and warped the floor, which had bubbled up and got in the way of the old dishwasher’s motor and kinked the water line, which was why the old one never worked all that well.

Anyway, nothing went as planned, and if I’d posted the step-by-step of what we did here, and then you followed it in installing your own dishwasher, well - we just don’t have the money to pay for all those lawsuits. Suffice it to say, we have a beautiful new stainless-steel dishwasher that will save on our energy bills and that looks fabulous in our kitchen - AND WHICH ACTUALLY CLEANS DISHES, unlike its predecessor. Here, check it out:

Sunday, January 20, 2008 | by nathan

Cherry Tomatoes

I’m repotting the cherry tomatoes, cucumbers and dill this weekend. So if you want to adopt a plant, now’s the time.

Sunday, January 13, 2008 | by nathan

Food, German and Grown

Today was the kind of day you just live for. Brian and I got up early and played with Sam for awhile, then decided that we’d walk to Ingrid’s Kitchen for their Sunday brunch buffet. We’d never walked up there, but it was easy, and fun, and it was a beautiful day, complete with my favorite weather combination, cold and sunny.

Ingrid’s is hands-down one of the best places in the city. If you EVER, EVER, EVER want to go there, you may let me know, and I’ll ALWAYS go with you. Especially for brunch on Saturday or Sunday. And if you ever come to Oklahoma to visit me, all you Nokies, it will be on the List of Things We’ll Do, non-negotiable. This morning’s brunch consisted of eggs benedict, saurkraut with authentic German sausage, handmade biscuits and bread, casserole, and bread pudding for dessert. I mean - I ask you.

After brunch we walked home, winding through our neighborhood and the one adjacent, admiring the lovely little nook of Oklahoma City in which we live. When we got home I went to water the plants I’d started last week, and discovered SPROUTS! "HOLY GOD I MADE SOMETHING GROW!" I cried. Check it out:

See, I had ordered a bunch of seeds from Organica Seed Co., a wonderful little place I highly recommend. Last weekend we went to Lowe’s and I bought seed starter kits and a bunch of soil, and I put a bunch of seeds in my neat little pots, which, when the soil outside is ready, I can just drop into holes and watch it all go to town. I planted cherry tomatoes, cucumbers, Bolivian rainbow peppers, asparagus, yellow strawberries (I didn’t even know that was a thing!), plus some purple basil and some dill.

Anyway, I was sure it would all be for naught, but I faithfully watered it all and tried to keep it warm and happy.

And holy cow. We have sprouts. The tomatoes, cucumbers, basil and dill have started to come up. We’re still waiting on the peppers, strawberries and asparagus. BUT HOLY COW!

Here’s the deal: when it all gets going, I’ll have to start gently pulling up the tiny little plants and re-potting them so they don’t crowd each other out. If this all goes as well as it could, this whole experiment has the potential to get WAY out of hand, so I’m prepared to give some of these neat little plants away to loving growers. So, give it some thought - you don’t have to answer now. But consider the following: in March sometime, you may be required to come to my house, help me till up the plot in which all this wonderful food will grow, and as a reward, you’ll get to take home your VERY OWN PLANT! YAHOO!

I was digging up my plot today, thinking about how much I hated it when my dad enlisted my help in tilling his garden, and how much I wish I’d listened and watched more closely while he’d done it all, because HOLY CRAP, I have sprouts, and I need to call him to ask what the hell to do next. If I ever have kids - or if I ever babysit YOUR kids - they’re totally helping me with MY garden, and they’re totally going to hate it, too, but at the age of 27 they’ll look back and wish they’d paid closer attention.