One of our big projects this weekend was to hang Christmas lights on our house. This is especially daunting in our neighborhood, as people really take a whole lot of pride in their holiday lights, creating pieces of visual – and occasionally performance – art that should be installed in some major museum. One designed by Frank Gehry. One house in our neighborhood was featured prominently on UglyChristmasLights.com one year, though for the life of me I can’t find that photograph now.

All that is to say, there was some Jones-keeping-up-with that needed to happen this year, as our previous attempts at Christmas decoration have bordered somewhere between “pathetic” and “Christmas is so fucking canceled, nerds.” So we went all out, spending four hours hanging lights on our front porch, which drew positive comments from our neighbors and the current residents of the International Space Station, as well as a couple alien civilizations, who have begun to worship the new light that has appeared in their skies. It’s possible we went a little overboard. It’s possible we almost killed each other. And while it’s still not as grand as some of our neighbors’ homes, we’re pretty proud of the finished product.