I’ve had a crush on him since the moment we met; now, about to graduate college, we have left our respective boyfriends behind and headed out for a big group trip to the beach, where we’ve been lightly flirting all weekend. We come back from a walk by the ocean all covered in sand and salt. I hear him yelling my name from the bathroom of the beach house, and I drag myself in, exhausted from the sun, to see what he wants. He’s lying in a bubble bath completely naked, the bubbles covering the only part of him I’ve never seen, with a huge, playful grin on his face. I roll my eyes at him, turn and walk out of the bathroom, then go in the room we’ve been sharing, cover my face with a pillow, and scream.

I’ve been pining for him for 3 months, and now, after endless flirtation, he’s informed me that he intends to remain celibate. Still, he’s always up for friendship, and tonight that has entailed us going out to a bar, him getting good and drunk, and then me driving us back to my place, where, he has made it clear, he will be sleeping on the couch. As we pass the lake, however, he insists I pull over, and he leaps out of the car and tears off running across the muddy bank. "Let’s go skinny dipping!" he shouts, beginning to strip off his shirt. "That water is freezing," I tell him. "It’s November." He cajoles me some more, but I flatly refuse, trying to honor his wishes despite how badly I want to follow him into the frigid waves. I tell myself that perhaps it would be fun, the water acting like a cold shower, but when he grabs my arm and tries to lead me, the place where he’s touching me burns hot and, choking back emotions and desires that threaten to overwhelm me, I lead him back to the car, reminding him that, no, you don’t want to go in there – you’ll catch cold.

I’m in the kitchen, mixing him a gin and tonic. I’ve lived in Connecticut for a month and of all the new people I’ve met, he’s the most fascinating. And God – those eyes. I try to shake it off as I carefully measure the ingredients, but when I turn and hand him the glass, he’s only about a foot away. My boyfriend and another friend of ours are in the other room; we thought having new friends over to the apartment would be fun. Now, with this incredibly attractive and intelligent guy standing here in my space, it’s gotten confusing. He pecks me once, on the lips, quickly. I blush and look down, forcing the drink into his hand. Things dry up and get awkward within a second. "Sorry," he says sheepishly. I am unable to speak, so I just shake my head, staring at the floor. "Come on," he says as brightly as possible, then turns to go back into the living room. My boyfriend and our other friend are now seated next to each other on the couch. "Were you guys making out in there?" the friend slurs. "No," he says. My boyfriend won’t look at me. The friend speaks up again. "Well, we figured you were, so we were just out here going at it." I look to my boyfriend, but he still won’t look up. In that moment one thing breaks inside of me, and I know that we’ll be over very, very soon. Inside, defiant, I suddenly wish I’d been less restrained in the kitchen, and am also glad I can now self-righteously hold this over his head. Very, very soon, I think, and furiously suck down my drink.

…and once again I invite you to participate in the comments. When are some times you’ve walked away from sex, or just from another person in general, even against your strongest urges?