Things That Are Younger Than John McCain
Alaska
"Alaska - the freaking state - is younger than John McCain. And, for that matter, so is Hawaii. McCain is older than two of the fifty states."

10 Worst Ways To Behave At A Concert: How You're Ruining It For Everyone
4. Being over 6'4 and choosing to stand in front of the shortest person in the crowd. You can't fault people for being tall (or too short), but why does the tallest person usually have a complete disregard for where they're standing? If you see a 5'0 tall girl, don't stand directly in front of her. Maybe kneel? Maybe lop off your legs at the shins? Or better yet, maybe just stand behind her? The same goes for girls who insist on sitting on their boyfriends' shoulders for the duration of the show. The band might appreciate it when you show them your boobies, but the entire audience behind you will just think you're a boob. Thanks for blocking my view, dink.

Two Homes, One Price: You Choose
"The subprime mortgage crisis has hit. America is homeless, broke, foreclosed, and in the midst of a financial crisis. Similar to when there were rumors of the draft resurfacing, many of us are saying, “I’m moving to Canada.” However, I urge you to look beyond our friendly northern neighbor to a more majestic and—dare I say—regal era. From the rolling green pastures of France, to the sparkling coastline of Mexico, why live in a cramped, rat-infested junior one-bedroom when you can reign high in your very own castle?"