“freedom has a scent like the top of a newborn baby’s head”

I had the birthday blues yesterday, which is odd since my birthday was actually on Monday. I’ve never been the kind of person to want to celebrate his birthday with a lot of fanfare; a nice cookout on Saturday with my family, the day off on Monday, and I’m good. But for some reason ever since Monday I’ve been feeling a little down, and I knew somewhere in the back of my mind that it had something, vaguely, to do with my birthday. I was feeling sad, I suppose, that another milestone passed and I did so little to celebrate it. But also, I know that if I had celebrated it, I would’ve felt awkward about it. That Catch-22 feeling was what was getting to me, I suppose.

I had to run an errand for work which took me, thankfully, right by Erica & Alex’s house. So, I called them and asked if I could come hang out with the baby for awhile, which, thankfully, they were all too happy to let me. Cooper was sweet and small, actually weighing less than he did at birth, and I learned how he likes to be held, and I got some really wonderful pictures, and every few seconds put my nose next to the top of his head and breathed deeply.

I felt better after that. If I ever wonder why I live anywhere other than Oklahoma, I can remind myself that it’s because the people I love the most are creating families all around me, and anytime I’m feeling down I can go hang with their babies for awhile, and look at how far we’ve all come, and feel a zillion, bamillion times better than I did previously. 

Cooper

 

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