Friday, May 4, 2007 | by nathan

that tired old promise, that toxic old compulsion

I’ve been getting horrible headaches lately, and in general not feeling very well. I usually chock this up to allergies, as mine are terrible, and Oklahoma is one of the worst places in the world that allergy sufferers can call home, because of our strong, unobstructed winds, our zillions of species of grass, trees, mold, pollen, and, in my case, dust mites which are carried on said winds to every corner of the state. Looking back over my life I wish I’d have known sooner - like, from birth - how my allergies would affect me, because I would have taken steps much, much sooner to control their effects on me. I could never run as far or as fast as the other kids, and so I was never really into athletics, for example.

So when I feel less than stellar, my first thought is to kind of look up at the sky and see - oh, yep, there’s dust in the air today, the wind is strong, it just rained a lot and now the mold is high, or whatever. Last year I went to an allergist who made me cry - made.me.cry - by suggesting that nope, I’ll never really be able to have much of a normal life, and if I wanted to feel completely well I should probably just move into a bubble, a sexless, foodless, activity-free bubble. Fun.

Lately I haven’t been feeling great, physically or mentally. Some of this is due to allergies, because with the frequent rains Oklahoma has been experiencing - which, while removing pollen and dust from the air, fill it with mold spores and act like an aphrodisiac for dust mites - my allergies are off the charts. Some of it, however, is stress.

I’m finishing graduate school. I’m trying to score a full-time-with-benefits appointment at my job. I’m stressed.

But I think the big problem for me lately has been food. I’ve been eating shite for months. When I was working on my thesis I often found myself trapped in my office in Norman or running so thin on time that fast food was really the only option open to me, and if that fast food was brought to me with just the click of a mouse or the placing of one two-minute phone call, so much the better. So, there have been Papa John’s and Jimmy John’s delivery persons coming to me almost every day of the last month of my life.

And now, I’m finding myself addicted. It’s awful. This is what Hell must be like, only, you know - without the soul-rending flames, etc. etc.

You’d think after all this time, after all this shite, I’d be so wasted on fast food that I’d never want to see it again, but it keeps sounding so good! And yes, I’ve read the books, seen the films, browsed the articles - I know how fast food is prepared, I know what’s in it, and I can’t freaking stop eating it. 

Except I have to. I am currently in the worst physical shape of my entire life, and I keep getting these headaches, these terrible headaches, and my stomach hurts a lot, and I’m really tired. A part of this is allergies, a part is stress, and unfortunately, those are two factors I can only control to a certain degree. But my diet? The amount I exercise? Totally up to me.

I live less than a mile from the Asia District in Oklahoma City, an area where there are literally dozens of places to get healthy Asian food like Phở, which is always delicious and never gets old, and never leaves me feeling like I’ve just ingested a huge elephant turd.

I own a bike and live a quarter mile from my workplace. I HAVE A DOG WHO IS ALWAYS READY TO BE WALKED! The things I don’t have - but really need to get - are a gym membership and some willpower.

At any rate, I am breaking up with fast food. Sonic - your cheddar peppers are delicious, but I just can’t keep up with this commitment. I know you’ll find some willing fatty who will love you the way you deserve to be loved: needfully, compulsively. McDonald’s - I’m sorry I couldn’t stick around long enough for you to give me Mad Cow Disease, but I’ll always remember your lava-hot cherry pies and think fondly of your incompetent workers who, on more than one occasion, gave me free food because they couldn’t figure out how to work the debit-card machine.

And Taco Bueno. I think I’m going to miss you most of all. Despite your recent introduction of cheesecake chimichangas (they said that Satan would be attractive), I have to call it off. I knew this day was coming soon when I saw a grease truck the size of a large dinosaur parked behind you, but Mexi Dips and Chips will always be one of my favorite taste memories.

I have to say goodbye, for my health. Phở tastes better than all of you combined anyway, and it’s healthier, and cheaper, and I’m not going to shave ten years off my life by eating it.

Anyway, I love to cook, and I need help here. Anybody got any recipes for delicious, healthy things? Anybody got any recommendations for restaurants in the Oklahoma City area serving delicious, healthy food? ANYTHING AT ALL, PEOPLE. 

Health, Food