Sunday, December 31, 2006 | by nathan

2006 – Fin.

"Hey Nathan: how was your Christmas?"

It was great, thanks.

Brian and I got to spend the whole day and most of Christmas Eve together, which was fantastic. My dad, my grandparents, my aunt and uncle and my cousin Emily and her son came to my mom’s house Christmas Eve and we all hung out for a bit. Chambers brought his new boyfriend and his roommate Justin by to leave for midnight mass; this has been our Christmas tradition since 1998. We had planned to go get a cocktail after mass was over but I ended up having a horrible stomach ache and left right after the Eucharist.

My dad stayed with Brian and me that night, and we got up early the next morning to make it down to mom’s for breakfast. So we did the pretty-normal breakfast-presents-Christmas dinner order of things. Brian and I got mom a new gas grill, and I got John a Nintendo DS. Fun times. Mom got me a new bike, which was actually one of the things on my Überlist: get a bike.  Brian got me a new 88-key electric piano I can hook up to my Mac. That was great; I can practice more now. In college I practiced every day, sometimes two or three times a day in the practice rooms in Scales Fine Arts Center. I’m hoping I can surpass the level of mediocre skill I achieved back then.

For Brian, I booked our honeymoon: one week in San Francisco in June. I knew we had enough frequent flyer miles for one domestic ticket but not two, so I booked the other and bought him some travel guides and a bunch of good travel gear. Then we get home and find out we DON’T have enough miles for another ticket. Gooood job, Nate. Still, we’re stoked about the trip and are currently looking for cheap-ish – but nice – places to stay in San Fran. Anybody got any leads? 

All the extended family were gone by 4 p.m. Mom, Bri, John and I celebrated "The Best Christmas Ever" – or at least, the most efficient – by drinking wine and watching  Little Miss Sunshine, for which our friends the Flynns joined us. 

A couple nights ago we double-dated with Jaye and Laurie to the Chickasha Festival of Lights, kind of an Oklahoma Christmas must. Pictures of that – including one of a light structure of creepy Santa peeking in a little girl’s window – are forthcoming.

The best part of the holiday is that it is the first time EVER that Brian and I have had an entire week off at the same time. We’ve been hanging out with each other a lot, getting some things done that have been put on hold all year, like allergy-proofing our bed, shopping for new couches and making some plans for 2007. Mostly, though, we’ve played a whole lot of Katamari Damacy and I’ve tried to get over the rattling cough I got on Christmas Day.

I rewrote a few items on my Überlist and had it re-printed at Kinko’s. I’m taking this self-improvement stuff seriously. 2007 is the year I’m getting married, graduating with my master’s degree and becoming a gay uncle, to mention a few things. It seems like a lot is going to change this year, and I am excited about that. I’ll post the list as soon as I’ve got it in web form, that way I’m accountable to you, my two gentle readers, if I don’t get some shit done.

Today Brian and I are headed to the Red Cup to get some work done – he some stuff for when he goes back to the office next week, me some writing for when I start my thesis project – my next novel – in two weeks. Tonight we’re headed to Trattoria il Centro in downtown Oklahoma City for a fabulous New Year’s Eve dinner and then possibly back here for a midnight toast.

Happy 2007, all.  

Sunday, December 24, 2006 | by nathan

Me, I Want a Hula Hoop

It’s Christmas Eve. Almost all the presents are bought – there’s one rather popular item I’m getting for a friend that I.CAN’T.FIND.ANYWHERE. But even that doesn’t have my spirits down; I spent all day yesterday wrapping presents and trying to keep Sam from eating the wrapping paper. He did get hold of a few plastic bags while I was out running errands, but ah.

Tonight I’m going to my mom’s house, where my entire extended family will be – my grandparents, my aunt and uncle, my cousin and her son, my dad. Later tonight Bryon and I will meet up for our annual tradition of attending Midnight Mass at St. Paul’s Episcopal Cathedral in downtown Oklahoma City, after which we will head to a local gay bar for a drink and toast. We’ve been attending midnight mass every year since 1998, when Bryon converted to Anglicanism. We’ve been going for the drink every year since we turned 21, so in many ways this tradition outlasts many others my biological family has tried – in vain – to keep going.

Though tomorrow we will have ham and turkey, hot corn and stuffing and pie. The food must never change. One year mom threatened to order in sushi; grandma’s face turned white as a sheet. I wasn’t there, but I know for a fact that it did.

I feel like I rushed headlong into this season and almost forgot what it’s about; redemption coming in human form. Hegel would say that the birth of Christ represents the next revolution of Geist; man’s evolving awareness of God. I kind of like that idea, though to turn it around – the arrival of Christ, the culmination of Advent, is about God revealing Himself in human form, becoming one of us so we could become more.

Also, it’s about holding tight to your family – whoever that may be for you – and keeping warm, sharing what you have, and remembering to love one another. I’m looking forward to gathering my family around me and really holding on tight for the next couple of days. I’ve had a hell of a lot of fun buying gifts this year; it’s something I really enjoy, finding a perfect gift for someone. Mom ended up having to work on the day she thought she was going to do her shopping, so I offered to do it for her. She left me a credit card and some specific instructions, and a promise to pay me back for anything I couldn’t put on the card.

In lieu of that, I bought myself a nice pair of sandals that have beer bottle openers on the bottom. From her, to me. Perfect.

Tonight I’ll get Sam and we’ll head over to mom’s. We’ll spend the night and get up in the morning, where I will FORCE the family to watch all 24 hours of "24 Hours of A Christmas Story" while we cook, and eat, and clean, and fawn over how wonderful all our presents are. I made secrecy the order of the holiday this year – no one is allowed to ask anyone what they want; everyone must be surprised.

Though I gotta say, when my family is around each other, and everyone has shown up and is trying like hell to make everyone else’s day the best it can be, I’m always surprised. Not because it happens so seldom, because it doesn’t. I’m surprised because no matter how often it happens, it’s a miracle, and miracles are always surprising.

Happy Holidays, everyone. 

Monday, December 18, 2006 | by nathan

Bored At Work

On an iChat video conversation with Brian:

Me: I know! I’ll put the iSight camera up to some orifice in my body and you try to guess which one it is.

[I adjust position]

Brian: Um, I don’t know.

Me: That’s my mouth.

[I back up so he can see - my mouth. Then I readjust].

Brian: I don’t know.

Me: Nose.

[readjust]

Brian: Nope.

Me: Ear. See how fun this is?

Monday, December 18, 2006 | by nathan

The Interview

I saw this on my friend David Broyles’ MySpace page, and I don’t know – immediately something hit me about it. I’d usually never go for something as "MySpace survey" or meme-ish as this, but it just seemed like fun. So here you go; I hope someone does it, or I’ll feel really dumb. Basically the thing is that you ask someone to ask you five questions, which you answer in a blog entry. These are the ones David came up with for me. (Rules are posted below).

1. What are your top 5 favorite albums of all time?

Oh, God, that’s a tough one. Do you know how incredibly tough that is? Can I say "Gardening In A Tornado?" No, that wouldn’t be fair – I only just recently downloaded it from iTunes. Though I gotta say – awesome.

I can’t say that the following five albums are definitive. All I know is that the following five albums – in no particular order – are five records that, for me, never get old, never get dated. I never feel ironic when I’m listening to them (as opposed to, say, this), the lyrics never lose their power, the riffs don’t stop sending goose bumps up my arms. Not to say that these are the only five albums that do this. They just come readily to mind. And you may notice that this is an incredibly long preface to a list of five albums, but that’s because furiously typing helps me to come up with what they are. So without further ado; five albums:

        i) Bruce Hornsby and the Range, The Way It Is

        ii) Mary Chapin Carpenter, Stones In The Road

        iii) Tina Turner, Private Dancer (people love to laugh at me about this one, but until you’ve heard her voice tear up David Bowie’s "1984" you haven’t lived)

        iv) Carole King, Tapestry

        v) Vertical Horizon, Running on Ice

2. What are your top 5 favorite movies of all time?

See above re: really, really hard questions. I’m going to take a stab at this after stating publicly that I have seen literally thousands of movies, that I almost got a film minor in college except that the film minor program was cancelled, and that the amount of money I have spent going to the movies in my lifetime could probably fund the world’s first fusion reactor, or a small country, like Lichtenstein. So here are five movies that never, ever get old for me (I’m uncomfortable with phrases like "favorite" that are all committal).

        i) Noises Off

        ii) Mommie Dearest

        iii) I Heart Huckabees

        iv) Saved!

        v) Real Genius

3. If you could live anywhere, where would you live and why?

In a lot of ways I feel I have already made this decision, because I live in Oklahoma City, and I would not, at this stage in my life, choose to live anywhere else. If I did have to move – for whatever reason – it is likely I would choose to be somewhere where I was closer to my good friends from college, because they, like my friends here, make me a better person by their mere presence.

But I sense the question is meant to gauge my preference for certain locations. I will say that, having recently spent some time in Atlanta, that I think it is a kickass city, and if I got the chance to move to Decatur or Atlanta proper, it would be really hard to turn down. I have always felt, since my first trip there, that New York City is a place I could live for a very long time; ditto Boston, London, and Paris. I have lived in Dublin, Ireland, and would relish the chance to live there, as well as almost anywhere in northern Italy, the Greek Peloponnesus or the south of France.

But Oklahoma is a great place for me emotionally and – whoa! – career-wise right now, so staying here is pretty great.

4. If you could change anything about yourself, what would it be and why?

Totally vain, I’d change the way my body works. Not the way it looks necessarily, though it would impact that greatly – I’d change the way it works. I have a slow metabolism and a body that truly, completely revolts at the very notion of exercise, and I kind of hate that because I think it foreshadows badness in my future if I don’t change something. I mean, who wouldn’t like to look differently? But I have some serious anxiety about my future health, given that my dad has had a heart attack and now struggles with diabetes. I’d change that.

Oh, and I’d give myself super powers. Like, loads of ‘em. Just – just loads.

5. Top 5 songs you HATE the most? 

Ooohhhh, good question. Again, I’m not sure I can narrow this down to five. But I can tell you five songs that make my skin crawl to such a degree that if they come on the radio, I have to turn it off, no matter who else in the car, the house, or the club is grooving to them.

           i) "My Heart Will Go On" by Celine Dion. Actually, anything by Celine Dion.

           ii) "Hero" by Mariah Carey (thanks. Now it’s stuck in my head).

           iii) "Friends Are Friends Forever" by Michael W. Smith.

           iv) "The Angry American" by Toby Keith

           v) "Baby It’s Cold Outside." (This song is skeezy. It’s basically about a date rape. She’s all, "Okay, I have to leave," and he’s like, "You’re not going anywhere.")

OKAY, now that that’s over with, let us have the rules, if you choose to participate:

THE GUIDELINES:

1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me," but only if you really mean it and will follow-through.

2. I will respond by asking you five questions. I get to pick the questions.

3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.

4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.

5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

If this doesn’t cause people to de-lurk, I’m not sure what will. Come on, people!

Saturday, December 16, 2006 | by nathan

Ba Da Bee

So every single thing about the Christmas party was amazing. Every last detail. Like the people from almost every corner of our lives who showed up to celebrate with us – dear friends, relatives, all the exact same people I’d invite to my wedding; the real family. I’m not sure I’ve ever even been to a party that was that successful, much less thrown one myself. I’ve been getting complimentary calls on it all day.

K.C. and David brought some wonderful guests in the form of the girls from The Bluehouse, a wonderful Australian indie folk band they are friends with. ‘Smatter of fact, they are all performing at the Blue Door tonight, and I’ve got to finish getting ready so we can get good seats for the show.

The Bluehouse at the Blue Door. To complete the oddness of the night, I’m going to take a six-pack of Blue Moon with me to the show. If you’re not doing anything you should absolutely come to the show. It’s going to be incredible. 

Thursday, December 14, 2006 | by nathan

I Just Washed My Car, Which Means It’s Going To Rain Tomorrow

God dammit. This shit better not be true. Because I sure did just drop some dollas to get this – LAST WEEK. Mac always does this to me – as soon as I drop some major money for something, they turn right back around and come out with something better. Let a bitch enjoy his shit for a week, at least! GAW.

Thursday, December 14, 2006 | by nathan

I’ve Also Never Been A Big Fan of Rollercoasters

A note on my personality:

I really don’t like inconsistent people. You know the type; one minute they’re up, happy, having a great time and wanting to talk. The next minute everything is serious, or sad, or unimportant. The change usually happens when the up, happy talking stops being about them. Some people might use words like "moody," or "manic" when describing these people, and then go on to use words like "lithium" or "GHB" to suggest ways to deal with them.

Me? So far I’m coasting along on my sometimes-supernatural ability to be diplomatic, to laugh when I want to scream, and to smile when I want to yell, "OHMYGODWOULDYOUPLEASESHUTUP?"

And – scene. 

Thursday, December 14, 2006 | by nathan

The One Where My Little Family Totally Astonishes Me

Right now I’m in bed. I just finished writing a screenplay that, next semester, a bunch of beginning student filmmakers will turn into a somewhat-decent movie. It’s a short film; the rough draft of the play is 21 pages long; this translates to roughly 21 minutes of screen time. It’s kind of cool that I’m getting to do this, seeing as how it’s the second screenplay I’ve ever written.

Brian is installing a new sink in our downstairs bathroom, since we have been without one since May. He asked me to meet him at Home Depot to help pick one out, which I did, and then he took me to dinner at Qdoba. He amazes me.

When I got home from work today Sam was chomping at the bit to go out. I’ve had the flu for five days, and today was the first day I felt remotely well enough to walk him, and so I did; perhaps a little further than I should’ve, given the fact that he has heartworms, and the vet said not to let him go too far, or too fast. But it was a beautiful evening – warmer than it has been – and he just seemed so eager. Sam doesn’t know he has worms living in his heart. In.His.Heart. I mean – I ask you.

So after Brian started with the sink I took off to Border’s to finish writing this screenplay. I left when they kicked us all out; personally I thought it was rather sporting of them to let me stay at all, considering I only drank one measly vanilla latte, and I got a discount on that. I came home and Sam was so sweet and angelic that I let him walk around the block again, partially because I just can’t resist his eagerness and sweetness. He really is making a fantastic addition to our little family, so sweet and innocent. The other night we took him to my mom’s house. Erica and Alex came over with their dog, Petey, to whom Sam did not take well. I had to remind everyone that poor Sam has been living on the streets for God knows how long, and has probably become accustomed to growling at other dogs. But there were all these people crowded around, and all this food and excitement and fear, and poor Sam – he just peed right on the carpet in mom’s office.

"Oh, God, Sam, no!" I whispered harshly, not wanting anyone to find out.

He just looked up at me, pee streaming out of him, with this look – he has an incredibly expressive face – this look that said, "I know, I know. I’m so sorry. It just happened. I’m so so so sorry. It’s just – all those people. And that dog is bigger than me. And all these new places. God, and you’ve been so great, and here I go peeing on your mom’s carpet. I’ll understand if you take me to the pound tomorrow."

After I cleaned up the pee I just sat there and loved on him for a few minutes. I think my favorite thing about him is what a ragamuffin he is; he follows me around literally everywhere I go, but he knows better than to go up the stairs into the bedroom, or downstairs into the den. He gets sad and mopey when I call him into the office, because he knows I’m about to leave the house or go to bed. He lets me know when he needs some petting by licking my hands, gently, and he’s pretty voracious about showing me and Brian affection. He’s scared of the dark – he won’t go into a room without lights on – and he seems genuinely grateful to have been rescued.

Me, I’m genuinely grateful to have such a wonderful new addition to the family. Brian and I were pretty awesome before, and now, with Sam, we’re fucking rad.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006 | by nathan

Really?

We haven’t had a lot of parties at the house, Brian and me. We had three parties last winter that got kind of out of hand. The first was when my friend Summer was in town; I invited a few people over for drinks and dinner, and those people invited people and it became this huge, out-of-control thing, wherein Summer – at that time wearing a C-Collar after a horrible thing with a tree and a car and a bolt of lightning – got kind of ignored, and I felt horrible, because she was the one I wanted to hang out with.

Our Christmas party was fun, if not a bit too crowded and not quite intimate enough. When we threw a going-away party for our friend Bryon, I knew we’d never have another big party at the house again. People invited other people, who invited more other people. There were drugs in my house. People smoked cigarettes on my screened-in back porch. They drank the free liquor and then left to go out to the bars. Some people had sex on the papazan chair on the back porch. Other people hooked up in my bed. IN.MY.BED. How you gonna go to someone’s house that you don’t know, drink up all they free liquor, then GO HAVE SEX IN THEIR BED? Who raised these people? Prostitutes? Britney Spears? SERIOUSLY, PEOPLE. HAVE SOME GODDAMN SENSE.

Finally, at four a.m. or so, I kicked everyone out of the house. "All y’all got to get the fuckout. Go on, get the fuckout."

"We’re drunk. We can’t drive! Let us stay on the couch! We love you!"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah! Totally love you!"

"What’s my name?"

A long pause.

"Yeah, get the fuckout."

So we’re having a Christmas party this weekend, and I’ve invited only – relatively – a few people. They are all people about whom I care deeply and whom I see on a more-or-less regular basis. I wanted to keep it small so that I’d get to talk to everyone, and so that I wouldn’t have to put anyone else on the list of People Who Are No Longer Invited To Our House. 

If you didn’t get an invitation, please don’t be offended; it’s probably not going to be that great of a party anyway.* I just wanted to keep it very small, and I really, really didn’t want anyone to have to be out there driving after I kicked them the fuckout of my house. It’s not that I think you’re that type, or that you’d bring all kinds of people who were on The List. I just wanted SMALL.

*To the people coming to the party: I just said that so they wouldn’t feel bad. It’s totally going to rock, and if you haven’t RSVPed yet, you definitely should, because we’re going to have a lot of fun. 

Monday, December 11, 2006 | by nathan

Freedom Flu

Today was, for all intents and purposes, the last day of the worst semester of my entire life. When I was 22 and a big ol’ pussy, I dropped out of Yale in the middle of a semester that was, in many ways, easier than this one. Okay, yes, at the time I had just discovered pot, and I was living in very, very close quarters with a guy who had broken my heart into a million tiny little pieces, and then used the pieces to create a mosaic of Celine Dion’s face.

But this semester I have felt, every Monday and Wednesday, that I was going to have a panic attack upon waking every morning. So there’s that.

Well – now it’s all over. And what do I have? I have the flu. The motherfucking flu.

I’m not sure it’s the flu; but I do know that last Thursday I got my very first flu shot, and since Friday precisely at noon I have felt like hammered horse crap. But you know what? As shitty as I feel, however, I could not be happier that my time working for the world’s biggest douche bag is over.