Friday, August 25, 2006 | by nathan

Small Conundrum, But One That’s Bothering Me

I’m having a problem. It’s one of those really great, boring problems with which I wish my life was consistently populated, but it’s giving me a headache.

I love learning. Let me just start by saying that. I come by this honestly, as my parents always encouraged me in school, I was always good at school, having grown up with eerie similarities to Lisa Simpson as far as my overblown love of school. LOVE school. Love it. I love it to a degree that earlier this summer, when I thought I might not be able to go back, I panicked and almost cried daily until I was able to go back to school.

Let us balance this with this small fact: I work at a law school. The people in my office like me, and I actually find myself thinking that a lifelong career in higher education would be pretty rewarding. Okay. So. The people in my office are constantly telling me that I should go to law school, and it makes me want to bring an Uzi to work, which I will probably do, tomorrow.

So right now I am in a program for a degree called a Master of Professional Writing. The degree is essentially a combining of elements of journalism and creative writing, as we are taught not how to be good writers (they assume - often incorrectly - that we know what good writing is) but how to be professional writers. We learn how to write novels, screenplays, nonfiction books, etc. We get some cool classes like Humor Writing, and while we are cursed with an administration that couldn’t give less of a shit about our specific program - writers don’t donate as much as, say, PR professionals, broadcasters or ad execs - we are a pretty tight-knit group of grad students, more or less.

So going into this program I told myself I wanted to learn as many different types of writing as possible - you know, writing in ways that I never have. One of my courses this semester is Screenwriting. How cool is that? I mean, I have no dreams of being a screenwriter - I mean, God, it’s so precious, isn’t it? - it’s neat to get to learn how to do it.

Okay, to my problem. (Sue me, I love exposition).

I signed up for this course called Speechwriting. Sounds cool, right? I’ve given speeches before and rather enjoyed writing and giving them. And in the class we will be given a client - no, like an actual business client - and asked to write a speech for them. Sounds fun, right? One credit. Easy.

The problem is, the class is on two Saturdays - tomorrow and September 16 - from 8:30 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. And honestly, the thought of going to class tomorrow all day is a little like death. As I said to Boss Lady earlier, "If you had to make me choose between dying and going to this class tomorrow, I might have to think about it for a minute."

I’d love to learn more about speechwriting, and to get my name out there professionally. But dammit - the first Saturday of the year? Really? I want desperately to drop the class, but I also want desperately to take it. I don’t need the credit, but I may need the extra sleep and the extra time with Brian. I could use the extra money from not having to buy the books, and on September 16 I will definitely need the time to recoup from the Flaming Lips concert.

And yet I’m still torn. Any suggestions? I need to make this decision before I go to bed tonight, and I’m stumped.