| Popular Kid |
 In high school, everyone knew your name - even if you didn’t know theirs. In fact, your still skating by on your looks and charm. Nothing wrong with that! |
| Grind | Comments (0) |
I was in the worst mood ever last night, because I was hella-tired. I almost broke down in tears in the Arby’s drive-through because they asked me four times if I wanted fries and three times if I wanted ketchup. When I get like this I become mean and surly and needy, and I hate myself for it. I didn’t get out of bed until 9 this morning, and I feel like ass today.
Also, this crap is stressing me out too because it is so fucking useless and yet it seems to be everywhere today.
I need rest. I’m hitting the wall with dieting and working out, which sucks, because when I got dressed today everything was still too small, and I’ve got six weeks before I even start seeing results at all, and that frustrates me to no end because I really just want to give up.
I want to be in a better mood. I want to treat people better. It’s only 11 AM and already the whole deal just feels like a wash. I think I will close my office door and pray.
| Health, Nathansomnia | Comments (2) |
Okay, sorry about the stupid survey. I was bored and trying to get the gears rolling. Forgive me for posting something so effing lame.
song: “Close My Eyes” by Matisyahu
I’ve got my first Humor Writing class tonight with Doug Marlette, and I must say I am fairly excited about this. I can’t imagine a class title that sounds like much more fun than Humor Writing, although, you never know; I could be wrong. The guy could be a big ol’ diva, and the lectures could be about how to get 33.3 bar percent more laughter out of every page or something.
Still, if it’s anything at all like last semester, when I was fully on point with some humorous stuff I was writing, then God knows it will be hella-enjoyable. Also, my newest friend Will just signed up for it this week, so I will know someone in the class, after all.
Brian and I had the greatest weekend. Brett, Brian’s brother, came over Friday night for a “Drunk Nintendo” night. By the time I got home from hanging out with mom (we went to Border’s and Bison Witches), most of the Wild Turkey was gone, and the rest vanished in short order. Drunk Nintendo is one of life’s great delights, like warm baths and David Sedaris. I enjoy Brett’s company so much, because he is absolutely one of the funniest and most entertaining people I know.
Brett hung out at the house all day Saturday until about 10 P.M. We had KFC for lunch (yeah) and watched movies and stuff off the TiVo.
Sunday Brian and I got up and went to Mayflower’s 10:45 service. Of all the things in my life, going to church with Brian is probably my favorite. I’m not super into Mayflower’s style of worship, but the community is warm and welcoming, and the message and teaching are solid. Dr. Meyers absolutely blows my mind every time he speaks, which is I guess why he is such a well-respected orator.
song: “Hospital Food” by David Gray
After church we had brunch at Pearl’s, where we ripped on the very-hungover gay guys sitting behind us who were dressed like twenty-year-olds but who were at least twice that old. Please Lord do not let me turn into one of these queens. And there goes the meanness again…
Anyhow we spent the rest of the afternoon mostly cleaning the house. I did the bathroom and then jumped in the backyard and began trimming the hydrangeas like everyone has been telling me to since we bought the house. I cleaned the messes of leaves out of the flower beds in front and back, giving myself gashes all up and down my arms in the process.
When I went out in the front yard, Brian was talking to this guy Steve, who is a gay guy who lives one street over from us. My hands were all bloody and I was breathing hard; I’m sure I looked as if I had just wrestled a yeti. We had a good conversation with Steve, however, and I hope he will grace us with his presence this coming weekend.
Speaking of this weekend….
All you Oklahoma people, if any of you read this blog, should know by now that Bryon Chambers is leaving for France next week. As his adoptive brother and someone who loves his soul more than life, I think we need to have a going-away party for him. Brian agrees, so I guess it’s up to us. But if you have any thoughts/ideas on this (or if you just want to bring liquor), that would be wonderful. We’re looking at Saturday night - shut up, you gays, going out hasn’t been that much fun lately anyway - because his work is giving him a sendoff on Friday. So just keep that date open.
Still another hour before class.
song: “Lucky” by Radiohead
I haven’t worked on the novel in several days, which is frustrating. I worry occasionally that I have dug myself into a writing hole this semester, what with Novel, Tutorial, and Humor; all that plus the Gazette might be too much pull on the creativity, what little remains.
I should go for a walk. That’s what I should do. G’night, all.
| Blessed Bafflement, Oklahoma, The Power Of Two | Comments (0) |
I found this, I am bored and waiting for my class to start in an hour and a half. Normally I would go to the gym, but I forgot my shoes today, and I don’t really want to do another half hour in the pool like I did at lunch. I just….can’t….handle that right now. So…
FOUR JOBS YOU’VE HAD IN YOUR LIFE
1. Theater Technician
2. Administrative Assistant/Database Coordinator
3. Retail Assistant and Keyholder for Harold’s
4. Graduate Assistant
FOUR MOVIES YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER
1. Saved!
2. I Heart Huckabees
3. Noises Off!
4. Serenity
FOUR PLACES YOU’VE LIVED
1. Oklahoma City, OK
2. Winston-Salem, NC
3. Venice, Italy
4. New Haven, CT.
FOUR TV SHOWS YOU LOVE TO WATCH
1. Firefly
2. Wonderfalls
3. Commander in Chief
4. Will & Grace
FOUR PLACES YOU’VE BEEN ON VACATION
1. Greece
2. Buena Vista, CO.
3. London
4. Rome
FOUR WEBSITES YOU VISIT DAILY
1. salon.com
2. cnn.com
3. apple.com
4. facebook.com
FOUR OF YOUR FAVORITE FOODS
1. chicken curry
2. potatoes
3. grilled vegetables
4. Laurie’s grandmother’s chicken
FOUR PLACES YOU’D RATHER BE RIGHT NOW
1. at home
2. Heaven
3. with Brian
4. in class
| Grind | Comments (0) |
I was reading this story about stem cells a second ago and had a thought…
What would the fundamentalists do if it was discovered that stem cells could “cure” homosexuality?
Not that it will happen, as homosexuality isn’t some genetic disease. But wouldn’t that be an interesting sitch?
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One of the TVs in the lab is playing To Wong Foo…Thanks For Everything, Julie Newmar, which is, of course, on Bravo. It’s good to be back. It got me in the mood to hear some drag queen music, so…
current song: “Baby I’m A Star” by Tina Turner. Doesn’t get draggier than that.
It hasn’t rained in Oklahoma for weeks and weeks. Feels like the whole state is going up in flames sometimes. You hardly drive anywhere without seeing smoke somewhere in the distance. It’s a little scary, like today when I left the Gazette and saw a plume of smoke in the direction of my house and got a little worried. Also, it’s screwing everything up because there is smoke and dust and all kinds of bad stuff in the air everywhere, and my allergies have been going nuts.
current song: “Move Your Feet” by Junior Senior.
All the recent health badness, as well as the fact that I literally have three pairs of pants that fit, has got me taking up two old hobbies again: cooking and working out. I find that I eat a lot healthier when I make most of my own meals, and now that I have started working on the new novel in earnest, I find that these are the two greatest ways to get the gears rolling again when I begin to worry that the whole jig is up and that I will have to get a degree in Marketing, or go work at Chick-Fil-A.
Also, as my father ages I see him struggle with heart disease and adult-onset diabetes. This scares me more than I am willing to go into, as I do not want to have a crying jag in the lab.
current song: “I Hate Everything But You” by Derek Webb.
So I am being extremely careful about my eating and exercise habits. I signed up for a membership on Spark People, which is this wonderful website that helps you keep track of all kinds of things like the nutrients and calories you are consuming and what kind of exercise you should be doing. It gets a little cheesy at times with all this self-motivation crap, but hey. That’s part of it, I suppose. Just not for me.
The thing is, I have this whole weird relationship with my body, which mirrors a lot of my spiritual struggle: desire versus health. I WANT to eat Taco Bueno every night because it’s so fucking delicious, even though I know that it is not good for me, that there are much, much better things I could be giving it. There are better things I could be giving my spirit, too, and to the spirits of the people around me, but I choose what feels good instead. An example, in the form of a conversation I had earlier tonight with a girl who came in the lab.
Her: Do I have to sign in?
Me: Yep.
Her: But I’m only going to be here for, like, five minutes.
Me: Sorry. Still need you to sign in.
Her: That fucking sucks!
Me: Yeah, because it’s real hard to write your name down on a sheet of paper.
We exchange dirty looks.
[current song: “River of Orchids” by XTC]
The point is not the fact that she precipitated the incident. There were two ways for me to deal with that sitch, and I chose the one that a) made me feel better, and b) got me what I wanted most quickly. Any wonder Ryan called me his “cunty friend.”
I want to be better to the people around me, you know? To take better care of them like I would sick relatives, because really that’s what we all are. But being an off-putting smartass is so much easier and often much more gratifying. Sick. What’s sicker is that part of me only wants to be better to the people around me so that I can have that feeling - you know, that super-spiritual feeling that makes you feel like you’re probably going to start dating the Dalai Lama soon.
Sick.
Also, Beloved. So there’s that.
It’s getting ever so slightly warmer here, but I’d give it all up for a few inches of rain to help with these fires and all the crap that is blowing around in the air, because I am sick of being so reliant on Flonase and Allegra all the time, which I am, especially at night.
song: “When They Really Get To Know You They Will Run” by Pedro The Lion. apropos, no?
I’m at about 7600 words for the new novel, which is pretty effing good considering we’re just one class period in, but pretty bad considering Jess has been walking around in my head fully formed for a year and a half now. I tried to work this morning and that was a bust, so I made some cereal (”How do you make cereal?” “You put the box near the milk. I saw it on the Food Network.”) and did half a workout, but the gears stayed stuck, so I took off for the Gazette, hoping to shake off a bad writing morning. The good news is I’ve got my first major story this week that’s not a floater or a Chicken Fried News, so yay for that.
I’ve been drinking in excess of a gallon or two of water a day, so I have to pee, which means I will end here.
just one final note: The new Despairs are out. Check them out. I especially like “Worth.” Can you tell these guys got their original idea from Ecclesiastes?
| Health, Oklahoma | Comments (0) |
GOD, I love my job (my unpaid job).
This week’s issue, “The State of the Future” turned out very cool, as you can well imagine. (Toot toot goes my own horn).
current song: “La Vie Boheme” from Rent
This weekend is Faith’s wedding, and Eric’s wedding, about which I am incredibly excited, if not a little stressed. Two weddings on the same day? Yeesh. Brian and I are driving up to St. Louis tomorrow night after work. Laurie and Jaye are coming up on Friday; I’m not sure when anyone else is getting there.
Better get back to work - or, more accurately, to lunch. Brian’s meeting me at home so we can finish off some of the stuff in the fridge before we head out of town. MAN, I love it here.
I’m thinking of going corporate with this blog - registering a domain name, HTMLing it up all pretty. Not sure. We’ll see. I have a domain name all picked out, but…
| Grind | Comments (0) |