Wednesday, December 28, 2005 | by nathan
Where I Am Now
Where I Am Now
I got some great stuff at the last K.C. show at Galileo, and I made an NPR piece out of it, my last one for “Assignment: Radio.” It was so much fun and it turned out really well. The other good thing that came out of the whole thing was that I was able to make kind of a “K.C. Clifford Live At Galileo” CD, which, while lacking in sound quality, captures well some of what it is like to see her live. Also, it has a lot of songs of hers on it that I love and yet which are not available on CD.
My favorite of these songs is “Ophelia,” which captures very well how I feel about my life now. On the disc, when introducing the song K.C. says, “I think I’ll be 80 and still growing up, and at some point there is part of you that you inevitably need to leave behind, and I think that is a good part of the process. And I think I woke up one morning and realized that I was a little older, and calmer, and a lot of things that were really good and healthy, but there was a part of me that I wasn’t operating with anymore, personality-wise. And that was a good thing, but it was also kind of strange, to wake up without her, and I call her Ophelia.”
This song describes a lot of the way I feel about how much I’ve changed over the past couple years.
Ophelia
Have you seen Ophelia? She was last seen wearing her heart on her sleeve.
This blue-eyed beauty is prone to hysteria;
Consider her armed with a flair for tragedy.
All that I’ve known to be true is you.
And where have you gone Ophelia? I can’t seem to find my way around here without you.
And maybe you’ve gone forever;
But maybe you’ll stop by in a week or two.
All that I’ve known to be true is you.
Ophelia, I can finally see, I can feel this breath in me
The girl that I was meant to be, Ophelia
I am finally free; I can feel this life in me
The girl that I was meant to be without you.
Without you, Ophelia.
So I guess this is so long, Ophelia.
And I bid you farewell Ophelia.
We’ve been together so long, Ophelia.
And I do wish you well, Ophelia.
And this one describes kind of how I approach relationships with friends and family, and trusting myself a little more:
This is how K.C. introduces it. “I think that I’ve decided somewhere in my life recently that some of the things that I need need to come from inside me; I need to stop looking outside of myself for some of the things that have already been given to me, the truth, and the hope, and the wisdom and encouragement. I don’t think I ever thought it possible until recently that you could encourage your own heart…and I’ve had a string of people that have not been telling me good things about myself… I guess it’s a little about calling a spade a spade. And there’s a cussword in it. We all just need to deal with it. Because sometimes there’s only one word you can use for things. Sometimes there’s only one word that rhymes. So pardon my French, but it is what it is.”
Counterfeit
She took it hard. It laid her out, left her wondering what this life was all about.
She saw stars through bleary eyes. She picked herself up off the ground and realized
They can call it love,
But if it makes you feel like shit, it’s counterfeit.
She dusted off, called some old friends.
Told them she feared she may never trust again.
She listened close to those who know who she is, where she’s been, where she’s trying to go
And they said
Let ‘em call it love.
If it makes you feel like shit, it’s counterfeit.
She’s finding out that life can play bitter tricks as she discovers
if it’s not love, it’s counterfeit.
She takes deep breaths
She found her smile. She’d forgotten where she placed it for awhile.
So those are the songs that describe my life now. It’s weird because K.C. is my friend. But there it is; I suppose this is why. She told me in our interview for KGOU that people always told her she was too sensitive. Yeah.
I like my life. I like having music that describes it.
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