Thursday, October 20, 2005 | by nathan

Middle-American Vignettes

Vignettes:

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When I first met Janet, a woman who works in Registration (the office behind mine), she introduced herself this way:

“Hi, I’m Janet. I’m a crazy person. I’m totally insane. Out of my mind. I’m a crazy person. You just never know what I’m gonna do. I’m tellin’ ya - crazy.”

I couldn’t help but think that if Janet was truly crazy, she probably would’ve humped my leg, tried to choke herself with the phone cord, or, possibly, not been hired to work here at all. I wonder why people so often say this about themselves. What is the image we are trying to cultivate, and where is it? Does she need me to see her a certain way, or does she need to see herself that way?

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There is a blind man I see a lot who is very, very mean to his seeing-eye dog. My friend Jamie in college had a seeing-eye dog, a gentle golden lab who would nuzzle you gently in the stomach. He was the kind of dogs who mitigates a bit of the trauma I underwent as a child when I was mauled by a blue heeler mutt.

The guy I see now has a dog who is, by all appearances, very gentle and very patient, but also who longs for a bit of human contact. When I walk by the dog, its ears perk up and it gives me that “come pet me” doggy look. But there is a large sign on the handle by which the man grips his dog that says:

I AM A SERVICE ANIMAL. DO NOT PET ME

When I see this man he is always jerking the dog’s leash or yelling at it. Today when I saw him he was muttering down at the dog, who was looking browbeaten and tired. Maybe the guy is just really sad to be blind, but - this part should go without saying - that is nothing to take out on a hapless animal, especially one as beautiful as his. Not that he would know how beautiful the dog is, being blind and all.

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When Jon Stewart interviewed Bill O’Reilly, his lead-in question was, “So - why so grumpy?” I occasionally expect to be asked this, as I often appear to have a worse attitude than I actually do.

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I flipped someone off on the interstate the other day. It was an older woman who had a bumper sticker on her minivan with the international bathroom symbols spelling out the words “Man + Woman = Marriage.” I thought, “That’s such an angry bumper sticker to have,” so I honked and flipped her off. How juvenille of me. You’d think I would’ve learned, having the family that I have, that anger in response to anger is not the right way to go, almost ever.

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Tom DeLay was indicted. I did a dance. I am praying to learn how to not rejoice at others’ misery. Maybe I really will grow to lead the Resistance.

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