Thursday, April 28, 2005 | by nathan

Oh. My. God.

Holy crap. I just finished a rough draft of a novel.

Oh my God.

I can’t believe it. I actually got to page 258 and realized - “Oh! I’m done! There’s no more story!”

Oh my God.

Of course, there are a lot of revisions left to do. According to Deborah, revision is a sixteen-step process that goes something like this (I add where needed. Mostly spiritual advice):

I. Write to the end of the book. Do not revise until you have finished writing.
II. As soon as you finish writing, make notes as to what you want to do in your second draft. Then put it aside for 2-4 weeks and go live your life as if you were a normal person. The world will know you are kidding yourself, and this is Okay.
III. When you pick it up again, go back and make all the changes you wrote down. This will cause a big mess in your story, and once again, this is Okay. Eat something fattening.
IV. Make for yourself a calendar-time schedule-flow chart for your book using posterboard, your computer, or a large table. Make sure time works in your book. Chart your scenes and story events and make sure it all is where it needs to be. Compare your chart to your original synopsis and ask, “Have I improved the book?”
V. Print a new, clean copy. Change the font so it looks fresh to your eye. Go through and make edits and marginal notes. Color code everything. Use lots of paper. Then send money to reforestation efforts and environmental groups.
VI. Go through your “revision checklist” (this was handed out in class). Be systematic. This step will take forever.
VII. Look at your scenes and sequels. Are they in the right place? Do they work? Do they follow the formula? If not, does THAT work? Can they be arranged more dramatically? What needs to be cut? Arrange your note cards in a stack on your desk and start moving stuff around. This will leave even more holes, and this is Okay. Remember to breathe.
VIII. Where are your big scenes? How many are there? They should be REALLY BIG. LIKE THIS, ONLY BIGGER.
IX. Check your chapter openings. Are they all the same? If so, shake some of them up. Do the same for the chapter endings. If characters are going to sleep at the end of your chapters, this is bad, because the readers will be, too.
X. Looking for mushy spots in the manuscript. Like checking a banana for…mushy….spots…. this is also soul-wrenching. Are there places where the story lapses but you are hoping no one will notice? ‘Cause they will.
XI. Graph out where your backstory and your hidden story are revealed. Can these places be moved to create better dramatic effect?
XII. Polish The Scenes! –> Write necessary transitions, check your story logic, check your style. This could be called what Anne Lamott refers to as the “Dental Draft.” Here you are checking every tooth for the slightest sign of decay.
XIII. BEWARE THE TEMPTATION OF SUDDEN INSPIRATION! If you get a sudden flash as to how you may revamp the entire manuscript, remember that this is your mind playing tricks on you. It is sick of revision, and it does not have your best interests at heart. This is the place where you must have faith in your work. If you had an agent, he would take the book away from you at this point. This is the step where you listen to a lot of Mary Chapin-Carpenter and India Arie.
XIV. Ask yourself: Is the book too long? Do you need to tighten it? Because someone, somewhere will eventually ask you to do so. Remove everything that is not necessary, no matter how well-written it is. Many authors have said something to the effect that they remove all the passages they love the best, because they tend to be the most unnecessary and self-inflated.
XV. Print a New Copy. Wait a week, then make yourself some muffins or cookies, go to your favorite reading spot and read the book straight through like you would a regular novel. This does not have to be done in one sitting, but if you find you can’t put it down, take this as a good sign (unless it’s your neurosis telling you not to put it down. But I am sure that you are completely healthy and that the voices of your parents, your teachers, and the kids in elementary school never pipe up in your head to tell you that you could never possibly be good enough. But the two or three of you to whom this may have happened once or twice, take heed). You may check the book here for minor things - typos, glaring grammatical errors, etc. But once you have corrected these teeny, tiny mistakes, you are finished, and you must stop mind-fucking this thing to death.
XVI. Mail the book to a publisher, or, better yet, an agent. Meanwhile, let some people who love you and who like to read look it over. Make them muffins so they will sing your praises. Take a break, live with the many rejections you are bound to receive, then roll up your sleeves and get to work on something new while continuing to send this old book of yours to as many people as you can afford.

See, so the fact that I got to the end of my rough draft is just the beginning, really. This should be an interesting summer.