Thursday, April 14, 2005 | by nathan

Busy Busy Biz-zay.

I didn’t tell you guys the good news. I’m going to be a reporter for our NPR station next semester! It’s not for pay; it’s for a class. Still. I’ll be helping to produce a bi-weekly show that you’ll be able to listen to online. Oh yes. I am going to monopolize even more of your internet time. Aren’t you glad you don’t have pay-by-the-hour dialup anymore? I’m not sure about much concerning the show, except I wanted to do it and the station manager let me enroll in this class. My friend Patty talked me into taking ballroom dance but I’m going to drop it again as soon as I finish this blog entry. I don’t want to pay for 2 more credits for a class I’m bound to hate. No offense to Tish and Jon, or Jayson and Laurie, or anyone else married who reads this, but it’s going to be almost all engaged couples. And then me? Nah.

song: “One Step Closer” by U2.

So here’s the problem I’m having. I was really proud, in a weird way, of my Novel professor, Deborah, because I am refreshed when someone can say something I find to be appalling but without shame, or rather, without trying to make it sound better than it is. Last week, Deborah said, “I used to want to write the Great American Novel. Then I decided I’d rather be rich.”

Well. Okay then.

I mean, yes, it’s a pretty bad way to go as far as being true to one’s aesthetic vision goes, but at least she didn’t try to decry the merits of literary fiction. She always admits that literary fiction is probably a higher form of art; it’s just a much harder sell. So in ten years your good friend Nathan may be writing mystery novels or something equally terrible, but at least he’ll have a place to live and food to eat. Just take comfort in knowing that he hasn’t given up on his dream of being something more than that. Yet.

See, I don’t really care if I’m rich; I want to be stable, and writing the kind of stuff I like to write. Too much to ask? I don’t think so. I’m thinking about applying for an internship at The Advocate or Out next summer, provided this Graduate Fellowship helps me work stuff out financially like I hope it does.

song: “Arc of Time (Time Code)” by Bright Eyes.

I guess it’s good to have a career plan, right? My hippie spirit (ugh) doesn’t want to make one, but I suppose I have to. I’m going to finish “Moving Van People,” which I think is going to get pretty pigeonholed into the gay fiction area, so that’s how I’m going to market it. Next semester is nonfiction time, so I’m going to polish the shit out of my better “Queer As Faith” pieces. After that it’s back over to Jess’ story, which is begging to get written. So I’m going to get as much on it as I can over the summer so it will stop browbeating me so much. I almost feel like I’d like to have two novels under my belt before I try to publish “QAF” but it might not come out that way. Also I have this creeped-out feeling about taking another writing course in an English department - reading aloud. Gag.

Anyhow. Time to leave work. Sorry for all the rambling. Can’t imagine how anyone is still interested in all this.