Wednesday, April 13, 2005 | by nathan

Runneth-ing.

For the past three days I’ve been swimming. Monday and Tuesday I went early in the morning, when the pool opened at 6. I’d swim 12-15 laps, depending, swearing on each trip back to the end of the pool where my stuff was stashed that this would be my last lap. Then I’d do just one more. Today I got to 20.

I enjoy swimming. I used to do it all the time at Wake. It actually might be my favorite form of exercise. It dawned on me today that someone with an addictive personality maybe shouldn’t get addicted even to something good like exercise, because sooner or later I’m bound to pull something. At the very least I’d be hiding my goggles in the console of my car and lying to people about how often I’m going to the pool.

current iPod song: “Evil” by Interpol.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t partially in this whole endeavor for the vanity of it all. I like the way I look right now. But there’s so much more to it than that: I like the way I feel. Every time I get out of the pool I spend the next two or three hours on the absolute top of the world. Same thing when I work out, which I’ve started doing at night now in addition to my lap times. Tonight I’m working until 10, so I won’t be able to lift. Which is fine, because I’m having a couple food issues.

Here’s the thing. We talked about my gluttony, right? Well. Today I had to swim at 11:30 AM because I got up late. So I swam and then went to Novel class. The whole time, I was starving. I had a small snack after I swam and showered, but I was starved. I kept thinking, “Just hold out until the end of class, then have your slim-fast.” Well, no.

I ran into Julian downstairs - “I. Am. Starved. For. Jimmy. Johns. You. Must. Come. With. Me.” I all but grabbed him by the front of the shirt. Yes, I could’ve been “responsible” and had the Slim-Fast, but damn, I was hungry, and it sounded good, and fuck this part of me that feels my worth has increased since my abs have become visible. And fuck the turkey sandwich - I had the club. And the fatty jalapeno chips that are like eating pure paradise and innocence. And a Diet Coke - pas du tout.

iPod changes song: “Unpretty” by TLC. Appropriate, no?

So we had food, and talked, and I love Julian a lot because he’s just a sweet guy. We talked about the boy he’s dating, and our struggles with working out, and school. When he was driving me back to Gaylord Hall we passed the two most beautiful men you’ve ever seen running down the sidewalk. We sure did just pull around and watch them run a little longer. Ah.

yeah, yeah, yeah.

new song: “We Were Bound (To Bend the Rules)” by The Velvet Teen. I love this thing.

I feel great. Odd, I know, since I’ve become known as the “slightly crabby” one in my group of friends. The sun is out, the weather is beautiful, and I reek of chlorine; summer is coming. There will be nights on Todd’s boat, a visit from one of my favorite Wake Forest friends (I hope! Dylan, let me know!) right during the sturm und drang of Pride festivities in Oklahoma City, and a whole lot of writing and revising to be done.

We’re runneth-ing over here, people. Which makes me wonder if I’d like to go for a run after work. I very well might. Geez. Listen to me; I sound like such an asshole.