Wednesday, February 9, 2005 | by nathan

Colleges: Full of Hot Boys

Know what I like? Sitting in the computer lab and watching cute boys walk in and sit down. I like to watch them do their work and use Remote Desktop to find out what they’re doing. Some are writing papers. Some are checking their emails. I watch the words begin to scroll across the screen as they type. It’s so much fun. There’s a redheaded boy in here now who has on car shoes! Car shoes! I thought I was the only person who wore those! I must befriend him. Except the problem: most male friendships do not begin with the sentence, “I like your shoes.”

Know what else I like? The Stills. (current iPod song: “Lola Stars and Stripes”). The sun is coming in these big, tall windows we have on the computer lab and the day is bright and cold. I like that in a day. Okay, and I’m just blogging to keep from working on my novel, which I love, but which is like having a crack-addicted baby with abandonment issues. These days I can’t leave it alone very long before it starts whining - “Work on me!” Which I guess is a good thing, if not a little needy. I mean, come on. Clearly this work of art is not being very mature about the Entire Situation. This is the same reason I don’t want babies just now. I am too needy to have someone else needy in my life.

I think that when this work is done I will feel very proud, almost to the point of defiance, but also, I will feel tired and strung-out, and I know this almost never happens on a first novel, but I really hope to God that someone publishes it. Professor Chester - Deborah - says that this is a “training novel.” Here and I thought those were the ones I’ve been writing since I was 8 - you know, the ones that sucked. Also, I hope I get an A. I’m worried that I won’t, because so far I haven’t bought into any of Deborah Chester’s prescribed methods of novel-writing, so grade-wise I might be screwed. Oh well. I’m still 130 pages ahead, so if I need to change things, I just will. So there. She liked my synopsis.

The song changes: “River” by Mary Chapin Carpenter: “Wanna build the strongest bridge / Wanna love you the best I can / Feel no fear upon the edge / Here’s my heart, baby, take my hand.” She’s so fantastic. If you want to date me, you must be as passionately in love with Mary Chapin Carpenter as I.

Brian and I went to Mardi Gras last night. How fun! For some reason that’s always the best going-out night of the year. Except now the stupid lousy fire marshal has cracked down on the Copa and there is a line to get in. So Bri and I spent the majority of our time at the Park. Gabe wasn’t there. I feel like a dejected lover where it comes to my former roomie - like Josh has stolen him from me and now keeps him sequestered. Every time I’ve gone out since I moved out of that apartment, I’ve been like, “Oh goody! I get to see Gabe!” and he’s never there. Which is probably a good thing, because it means he’s focused on his job, and doing good things like keeping it. He’s a person for whom I want the absolute best. But also, I miss him.

Still, I was the merest bit hung over this morning, and I had lahvash for lunch, which was great. Then I was 20 minutes late to Novel class because I had to park so goddam far away. And yet miraculously life continues on. And for the first time all week - it continues on well. Thank you, Lord - how could I ask for more?

Final iPod song of the entry: “Slow and Steady Wins the Race” by Pedro the Lion.